#still. doesn't justify his actions in the end but i really understand him.

[noxtivagus]

thinking of. hermes n etheirys n there rlly is just sm to take in !!!!

[go-fornicate-yourself]

Every day I am in the trenches fighting for my life defending this poor man. He was going through so much and people online demonize him and say he's as bad as his abuser

(I've got a lot of thoughts about this so I'll make sure to separate things to make it easier to look at lol)

Curly is a victim of abuse. Jimmy is his abuser. This is something that I feel a lot of people tend to brush over or don't acknowledge it often.

And I'm not just talking about post-crash. Jimmy's abuse of Curly is there pre-crash too. The party scene where the crew learns about the company going under is a huge example of this. Jimmy verbally abuses him, he gaslights him, he blames him for their (his) misfortune. Jimmy accuses Curly of thinking he's better than everyone (better than him), that he doesn't care about them (about him). That he's going leave them (leave him). Which is not true. Curly tries to explain himself but Jimmy shuts him down and he just takes it.

The fact that he just allows this to happen makes it seem like he's used to this... That this kind of behavior is a recurring thing with Jimmy. And the fact that nobody else tries to defend him or stands up to Jimmy just normalizes it for him. When Anya tells Curly what Jimmy did it catches him off guard. Bc he genuinely didn't think that his friend was capable of that. It wasn't something that was obvious to him. There were absolutely many red flags in the past but they were subtle enough for him to not see them bc he cares for Jimmy, he trusts him. Jimmy's the only one he feels he can open up to, who he can let his guard down with. Jimmy's his home. That's how close they are.

Because of this deep love for his friend and the subtlety of Jimmy's cruelty, he doesn't see the constant verbal and emotional abuse as what it is: abuse. Which is why he finds Jimmy's abuse towards Anya so shocking and jarring.

He isn't a man covering for his rapist friend bc of the 'bro code'. It does look like that from a certain angle and it's understandable why people see it that way but that's not what his character is really about as much as it makes sense otherwise.

He's essentially a battered housewife who's still in love with her husband but is realizing for the first time that the man she loves is a monster. That the man she loves and devoted her life to has been hurting her this whole time and she didn't even realize it. That the man she loves and spent so much of her life caring for has gone and hurt someone else. That he's most likely hurt others before and she's been utterly unaware of it the entire time she defended him and made excuses for him when he wasn't the best or the fairest or the most responsible or when he screwed up yet again solely bc of how much she loved and cared for him.

And Curly barely had any time to process ANY of that before Jimmy decided to try and kill them all to avoid the consequences of his actions. It was ultimately a selfish act even if he thought he wasn't just doing it for himself. Jimmy is selfish and needs to be in control or he loses it. He cares for Curly. He loves him. Curly's done so much for him. Curly's the only one who understands him, who doesn't hate him. Curly's his home. He resents how 'successful' he is but that's only bc he thinks so highly of him. He constantly puts himself down and put Curly on a pedestal and worships him while simultaneously mistreating him.

He treats his best friend like shit, he's awful to him. But he's not aware that this is the case or maybe he's in denial about it. He can't or just refuses to see how he's doing all of what he does for himself in the end. He justifies his attempt to kill them all (to himself and to Curly) by claiming he's doing this for them both. That if they were to get back to earth it would all be Curly's fault, that it'll ruin his life and career... despite the fact he had basically nothing to do with Anya's abuse. Jimmy's shifting the blame on him while acting like he cares for him. Well, he does genuinely care for him but clearly not nearly enough to not mistreat him or use him as a scapegoat for his own guilt.

Jimmy is the rapist, Jimmy is the one who does all of these horrible things. And yet it's highly likely that Curly would just blame all of it on himself bc that's exactly what Jimmy did to him. He's in so deep he can't see the facts of the situation.

It takes abuse victims so long to come to terms with their abuse. It takes time and reflection to see things with an unbiased and healthy perspective. Abuse (especially years of it) isn't just something you can just escape. It consumes you and can twist your reality. Curly had about a week or less to process all of it and then take action in a way that protected his crew and abided by Pony Express' guidelines. Dealing with something this serious in a setting that makes resolving it extremely difficult in a practical sense is already hard.

There were no locks on any of the doors except for medical and the cockpit. They couldn't just kill him. There was nowhere they could detain Jimmy that wouldn't involve corporate potentially penalizing the entire group. They could have used the cryopods but then there'd only be three available for any actual emergency and there were already five crew members and four pods in total. Also, I doubt corporate would be 'okay' with them using the cryopods for anything other than their intended purpose. Hell, even if they were able to make it back to earth without any incidents there's a good chance that corporate would consider the situation 'poor team synergy' and collectively punish the entire crew for Jimmy's actions.

So on top of having to deal with an already difficult situation, Curly has to grapple with the realization that Jimmy a: abused Anya, b: has been abusing him as well (for a very long time too), and c: has probably abused others before Anya and he had no idea about it. He needed to act but he didn't and it doomed all of them.

But it's so unrealistic (maybe even cruel) to put that much pressure on someone, force them through an utterly earth-shattering realization, and then expect them to do the correct/right/responsible thing in that moment. It's a little ironic how people vilify him for that when other characters do the same thing that nobody blames for it.

Anya is the ship's nurse. Curly is the ship's captain. They both have duties and responsibilities on board the Tulpar. She has to keep the crew healthy and safe and is the only one with enough medical knowledge to do so. He has to make sure that everything goes well and goes according to procedure. He's responsible for the crew, the cargo, and even the ship itself. Both positions are integral and require a lot of responsibility to do properly

They're both put through distressing and traumatic situations where due to them being human people with emotions and fears that make them essentially avoid their responsibility/doing what's required of them.

Curly has a freeze response and doesn't act when he should have when it was crucial to have done so. Anya has a fawn response and essentially puts her patient in danger and harm's way. She knew full well what Jimmy was capable of. She experienced it herself and she witnessed it happening to Curly as well. And yet she allows Jimmy to be alone with Curly while being fully aware of how dangerous he is. Which she shouldn't have, that wasn't the 'right' thing to do. Keeping him safe was her responsibility.

But Anya's human. She's going through a lot at the moment. She's terrified of Jimmy and she's trying to appease him so he doesn't hurt her again. It's a natural very understandable thing to do even if it's not the 'right' or 'responsible' thing. They failed each other when they needed each other most and I think that's the most tragic part of it. If anything, all of them failed each other in some way, shape, or form.

So it's incredibly frustrating to see people give Anya so much sympathy and grace for doing something so human yet still 'wrong' but then turn around and give Curly none of that for doing essentially the same thing she does.

I don't know for sure if it's actually because Curly is a man or if it's only part of it or maybe some people just lack that sense of awareness but it's depressing and frustrating as fuck as a male victim of sexual violence and abuse to see this kind of behavior and this much victim blaming towards a character who is undeniably a victim of abuse like I am.

[zeninprincess]

rehab; a. hayakawa

wc: 3.6k | aki hayakawa x reader | nsfw 🔞

warning(s): mentions of nicotine addiction 🚬, toxic relationship (aki is neglectful partner, reader is too attached to aki), power dynamic, gaslighting, p in v, cunnilingus, fingering, blowjob, creampie, breeding 🥧

aki keeps saying that you're the one needed him as if he didn't need you when you left him. but then again, maybe you did need him as much as he needed his cigarettes

a/n: purple prose, im trying to expand my english vocabs. sorry if it's annoying. ty for understanding!! also guess what songs inspired me to write this.

i. withdrawal

aki loves to smoke even though he knew it would hurt his lungs, however it's hard not to smoke. he knew it could kill him someday yet he still do the very thing that might end him. smoking traps the man in a vicious cycle of needing to consume and feeling guilty to the point he'd stop smoking for a couple of day but then, withdrawal would hit him hard and before he knew it, he relapsed.

it's a never ending cycle of hurt, guilt, and a desire to burn. its addicting and when it hits you, it hits hard. to say that you hate that aki has an addiction to something as bad as cigarettes is an understatement, although you yourself is addicted to something else that hurts you. and it was love. you love him even though it hurts you, even when it rips your self worth apart.

you found yourself crying to sleep after an argument, but just like a smoker to nicotine, you can't get enough of him. in the morning you'd come to him and everything will be fine. he’ll pat you on your head and fucks you good. to say you needed him is an understatement but it's not far from the truth. you couldn't shake the feeling that you needed him, almost as if you were addicted to his presence. it was more than just a strong desire; it was a deep-seated need that seemed to consume you.

waking up in the dead of night, you couldn't feel his presence on his side of the bed. the duvet was cold, mirroring his words a few hours ago when you two were screaming at each other over the fact he rarely comes home. the coolness of the duvet being a stark reminder of his absence.

you'd find him on the balcony smoking. he does this everytime he can't sleep. and when he's done he'd flick them out on the street. you watch him as he inhale nicotine and exhale smoke.

perhaps you two are more alike than you've realized. both of you seem drawn to the thrill of danger, the adrenaline rush of near misses. addiction, in its various forms, seems to have a hold on both of you. the highs and lows of your tumultuous relationship, much like the intense cravings and withdrawals experienced by those addicted to substances, keep you both coming back for more. it's a dangerous cycle, fueled by the intense heat of your passion, akin to the burning sensation of aki's cigarettes.

remember, addiction can be a destructive force, and if left unchecked, it can lead to devastating consequences. thrilling sensation and feelings of hunger for love destroys you little by little.

being with aki really deconstructed you as a person. the way he made you feel so lonely yet fills your loneliness it was a paradoxical experience. you also felt that you're the only one who's trying in this relationship, aki acts like a broken radio, echoing nothing back to you. he kept you waiting, hoping he'd say something back or repay your effort but it was met with radio silence. he made you question your desirability with the way he treats you.

he's not a jerk who hurts you physically nor did he fool around with other chicks, sometimes you wish he did so it'll help you hate him and justify your actions. he just doesn't give any attention outside when he's dicking you down, he doesn't really give you praise or express his love to you. he just doesn't care that much. it's torturing you. it really looks like a one sided love to outsiders who don't know that you two are together.

but you're no saint either. aki felt like you were too attached to him, unhealthily. but that feelings of your inability to live without him is a better feeling than being loved by you. he felt alive and sober with you needing him. he loves your effort, though he hated the way you keep uttering phrases like

“do you love me aki?” you ask with puffy eyes.

to him, he's a silent lover only showing how much he loves you through hard love and his own way. he prefers working hard til morning than to cuddle with you after waking up because he wants you to live a comfortable life. he'd rather risk his life killing devils just to get minimum wage than see your feet swollen after taking orders for 6 hours a day as a waitress.

“a question that need not be asked nor answered” he replied as he drew a big one.

“you never took me out on dates anymore” you nagged.

“woman i cook dinner for you every time i'm home, besides it's not safe out there what if some devil eats you alive? what then? i'm not paying for your funeral when we could barely feed ourselves” he said in his neutral tone. you rolled your eyes. “you're not even at home every day aki”

“and you never told me how pretty i am”

“am i just a free dishwasher who you only fuck whenever you wanted?”

“have you ever cuddled me these days?”

“i guess i wasnt wrong when i say you're cheating huh? i guess thats why youre rarely home”

“answer me aki!!”

you were growing desperate after each question. and still he's soundless.

“god i hate you. please let me go aki. please i beg of you” this doesn't feel like home anymore, the strange foreign beauty in front of you didn't even bother looking your way as you paced to the shared bedroom and pack your belongings.

“i'm leaving you for good. goodbye aki, may we never cross paths ever again” you say for the thousandth time as you put on your coat and unlock the entrance to your freedom. hearing the slam of the door he could only sigh knowing you’ll be back.

you always come back.

right?

a week passed by and nothing changed except you're gone now and it's eating aki from inside. he fell deep into a spiraling mess, he didn't eat, did not sleep, he never came home instead he distracted himself by working incessantly. afterall, his sanctuary was gone, and the lingering scent of your perfume stuck inside the 16 by 16 unit you two used to share and it brings him to reality that the only trace of you left was the unwashed dishes and messy duvet from the day you left.

he isn't the same man anymore, he was just a shell of what once was inside. lost in his thoughts which were dominated by you, he sighed. today he's smoking at the park where you two met each other for the first time. ashes fall to the ground. he flicks off the half burned ciggy, he finds it hard to enjoy the cigarette not knowing where you are and who you're with.

you had him blocked off on every social media, you changed your number, cut your beautiful hair to above the shoulder it was a much needed reset. staying in a cheap motel, you found solace in nicotine. aki was right, smoking helped numb the pain and for a moment it gave you the illusion that aki was near you smoking on the balcony like how it used to be.

“may you never forget me aki hayakawa and the pain you've caused me” you muttered under your breath.

ii. anticipation

‘ahh~ ahhnn’

‘s-shoo good!! harder aki harder!!’

“Fffuck” up and down the shaft he copies the rhythm from the video. aki watches you bounce up and down his cock on his phone. you're so pretty all sticky and flustered like that on top of him. his body trembled in pleasure, eyes shut tightly and toes curling as he heard you moan on max volume.

“fuck name i need you so bad” he cried out as he rode the highs feeling the building up orgasm. he reminisce how tight and warm your pussy was around his cock. his heart pounds as he reaches orgasm, he calls out your name, riding the orgasm. in his mind you were there lapping his tongue while going up and down pounding your cervix letting him fill you up with his cum.

the fluid overflows from the tip of his cock to the duvet under him. the video still playing on his phone, he was brought back to reality. sitting at the edge of the bed naked, post nut clarity hits him. aki puts on his boxer before reaching to the bedside table for his cigarette box. seventeen minutes past midnight, aki had found out that the box was empty, sighing he put on his jeans and shirt. he needed a quick fix, thus he went to the convenience store across the street which was a familiar destination.

inside the convenience store, he picked one cigarette between selections of many. he picked the one with cotton candy flavour. it smelled like your perfume that has long gone in the span of 7 weeks. he tried everything in his power to keep the residual odour inside. going as far as refusing to open the window and balcony but it was no use because in the end he had inhaled all the scent.

at the same time you were walking home from the waitressing shift which you took since you needed money to pay rent. kicking the rock on the curbside, you reveal white stocking underneath your miniskirt you had to wear as it's part of the dress code. walking down the street near your old apartment. you stop by a convenience store, a familiar figure was leaning against the glass window. neon lights illuminates the figure. a smoke came out of his system.

his hair were longer, eyebags presents itself, he noticed you walking towards him. was that really you? he thought to himself. you wore a long coat, a mini skirt and a white blouse that hugged your figure just right and your hair, it's shorter now he didn't think you'd look that good in short hair. he knew you'd come back, though a bit longer than what he had anticipated.

your heels clicking against concrete, his eyes glimmering with hope as you get closer and closer. you clutch your handbag tightly. you stand beside him, leaning on the glass window before falling to your knees crying exhausted. aki removed the cigarette on his lips and crouched down to your level.

“i hate you but i don't have anywhere else to stay” you confessed, chin resting on your knees. “you have me. i'm where you're supposed to stay at” he said, hesitating to pat your back. as excited as he might be, he couldn't express the fact that his longing for you had ended the second you made eye contact with him.

you tilt your head towards him, “i missed you”

“come back to me doll” he say as he opened his arm far and wide waiting for you to fall into his hug to which you didn't take a second to do. you cried in his arms. you keep relapsing back to him no matter what you do. it's a bad habit yet you don't mind if you destroy your life chasing the never ending fire.

you took his hand and walk back to your forever home with him.

iii. relapse - intoxication

he kissed you incessantly on the way there, groping you all over your curves. as soon as the door closed he took your coat off and ripped open your blouse. buttons flew everywhere. still kissing you, his tongue explores your cave, one hand cupping your cheek, the other one fondling your breast. he broke the kiss for a moment to regain his breath.

“let me show you the way i love you dollface”

he sucks on your neck leaving a red mark, grinding his hardness on your exposed black laced panties. your skirt rode up to your navel, aki pinned you to the door. “mmm aki~” you cooed as he bury his face on the crook of your neck.

he picks you up in the bridal style to the bedroom. you sprawl yourself onto the sticky duvet, god knows what's making it sticky. ugh. your attention snapped back to the man who's pinning you on all fours. chills send down your spine as you're half naked. the room was dark. the only thing that illuminates the room was the moonlight.

“aki i know you want me but-” you paused, parallel to his hand that were fondling your mounds. “i'm here to crash not to stay”

“yeah yeah keep yapping angel i know you” his pepper kisses on your mound felt like a rapid fire. using your free hand you unzipped his pants, freeing his member. “you think you can leave me that easily? nuh uh baby. you're addicted to me” that cocky remark really did something to you because now your folds are soaked.

“shit we got hurricane katrina under here”

after cupping your pussy through your panties he felt how damp it was. he slid it down to your thighs. his index finger circles your clit, you writhe in pleasure, moaning loudly as he keeps torturing your clit enjoying the way you tremble in pleasure each time his plush finger flicks your clit. “ahn- aki!!” you screamed, at this point your neighbours probably has heard your unholy mewls.

he undresses you properly before opening his clothes. you two are naked now. he sat on the bed. leaning himself against the headboard, his cock twitches. aki looks at you, he waits in anticipation as you begin to lubricate your hand with your spit. you pump your fist around his member, he moans as you move your hand up and down. lowering your head, his tip kisses your plush lips. precum overflows, god you are heavenly.

aki is enjoying your sweet time, licking and kissing his cock, worshipping him. he's afraid this feeling might turn into a full blown addiction, he loves the whole thing, the 7 weeks, the emotional turmoil he felt when you left, and the happiness when you came running back to him. he loves your hopelessness, he loves that you're addicted to him, and especially he loves the way you're choking on his cock right now. “s too big akii” tears running down your eyes, yet you keep bobbing your head on his shaft. such a hypocrite.

“you're acting as if we've never done this before baby” he grabs a handful of your hair and slams your head down to his cock. spit and cum pools on your mouth and cheeks. “god you're such ah~” he moans “s-slut” you fasten your pace and sucking on his cock harder to stimulate him. not long after you change pace, thick ropes of cum spurt on your mouth “ffuck” his eye rolls in pleasure.

this was so long overdue, it was what you two needed after all. communication maybe the key to a good relationship but nothing beats a good sloppy head. “you're so pretty. fuck when was the last time we did this?”

“um like 6 fucking months ago? since you're so busy you just go straight to bed” you replied with a hint of annoyance on your tone.

“get on all fours since you wanna be a bitch” he smacks your ass before getting behind you waiting for you to get on all fours. “jerk” is all that you can say before his tongue assaults your folds. and all you can do is shriek in surprise before you melt in his mouth. he flicks his tongue, eating you out, making out with your pussy. his hands grips your rear end you're positive it'll leave a nice red mark in the morning. he pulls out with a hitching breath with a string of saliva being the only reason his lips are still connected to your pretty pink pussy. “god you're so sexy” he watched your trembling body from behind your only response was to pull his head back to your pussy. “you're awful at this aki” feeling challenged, aki enters two digit inside while he sucks on your clit you can feel him smirking when you tremble.

feeling your pussy tightens, he pulls out his digits, denying you the pleasure of cumming. he smacks your ass with his hand again.

“uhn aki why did you do that” you changed position into laying back

he didn't mutter a word, instead he spit on his cock, preparing to enter you. spreading your legs apart. he looks godly like this, with his hair down, sweat trickling down his toned abs, and the way he eye you down like a predator preparing to strike its prey. he smacks his cock on your wet pussy.

“were doing it raw tonight, ill make sure you're pregnant with my bastard after this is done” he said

while waiting in anticipation, you watch him as he spit on his cock, lubricating it so it'll slide easier inside your tight pussy hole. you felt your core burning inside. then he spreads your legs apart, his cock dangling, sticking on your fold. using one hand he guides his long thick erect member inside you. you hissed as he brute forced his way inside of you.

“fuck- that's it baby, take it all” he kissed your forehead before licking your tears away.

“ngghhh aki~ i can't take it anymore”

“shh baby, you're doing so good” he starts moving in and out of your pussy.

fuck, he needed this, more than cigarettes. listening to your mewls and looking at your hair sticking on your bare skin, you drooling, pussy clenching his dick tightly just like the way you hug him, you just can't let go of him.

and it took him all his fibre muscle not to cum right now. you scratch his back just enough to make him shudder in pain and pleasure. he definitely needed to make you a mama. wet sloppy sounds echoing in the small room, mixed with a faint sound of bed creaking.

“aki I cant- I'm gonna-” he cuts you off by sucking your tits. “ahhh fuck. aki I'm gonna cum”

his mouth left your nipples, “yeah you're gonna cum f’me baby?” he looks at you with those puppy eyes of his that he only showed you when he's lovesick.

“fuck name, let's do it together. get pregnant with my kids yeah?” he asks you hoping you'd let him knock you up. your mind was hazy as climax approached you couldn't think of anything else but cumming. “yes! yes aki! please make me pregnant!!” he thrusts deeper before finally feeling how tight your hole is, clenching him tighter by the second. hot liquid fills your womb while you squirt your cum all over his cock. you felt a little touch of death, aki fell on top of you, arms around your waist, cock still snuggling inside of you.

heavy breathing paced between you and aki. he kissed your eyelids, spouting praises and sweet talks. you've never felt so loved before. face buried on his neck you struggled to breath with aki on top of you, and only you can know how nice it felt to be so closed like this even when you're crushed under his weight. aki, noticing the way you struggle to breath moved himself beside you. he grabbed a cigarette from the mahogany table near the creaking bed, he reached for the silver plated lighter adjoining the pack. this habit of cigarettes after sex wasn't unknown of aki.

“i know you'll come back to me eventually” aki fires away his sassy remark while inhaling the fumes. hands extending to his, you reached for the cigarette that sits between the plush pale lips of his. it's your turn now.

“my landlord kicked me out” you confessed. “i don't miss you aki” but this was probably a lie, a snort came out of aki as he eyed you. smoke escaped your lips while you were spatting out those words.

“you needed me name” but maybe aki did need you too, maybe more than you needed him. it's ironic how akis now the one addicted to the burning sensation of you, things have flipped around.

“you're the one that's been babbling about me til now. let's talk about how you actually feel bro. but for starters, fuck you and all of your shits aki. i missed you” sigh escaped your lips

“i want you to need me like you need your cigarettes. i hate to admit this but i'm jealous of the devils you hunt everyday, i wish you'd dedicate your time to me the way you dedicate it to do your job that doesn't even pay you that good aki. is it that hard to do so?”

aki took the cigarette out of your mouth. he sat up, his digits traced your moon lit skin, separating baby hairs that sticks from your forehead. “atleast tell me how much you care about me aki” he laughed at that statement not in a mocking way, but in a playful way.

“im sorry for treating you the way i've treated you”

love can be as addicting as nicotine, it's craving as intense, and withdrawal will always be as painful as a heartbreak. and just like a smoker needs their fix, a lover needs love to fill the absence they feel.

he ruffles your hair, finishing his cigarette.

“thank you”

even when you know all these are just talk no substance, you still feel at bliss. aki himself smiled before he kissed you and one day you'll learn that love doesn't need to feel like a nicotine in the sense of it's addicting. and that sometimes, it's best to let go of the remaining cigarette before it reaches the end of the stick and burns your lips. but for now, bask in the intoxicating warmth and the overwhelming intensity because rehab isn't needed when destruction feels this good.

©️ zeninprincess 2024. reposting, plagiarizing, translating or claiming my works are strictly forbidden.

[shesmore-shoebill]

braindump of additional smosh vs zombies thoughts after the final episode:

In general, @ the players. Everyone did SO fucking good, okay. All of them I think hit a perfect blend of committing to the characters, trying to make smart choices, but also not getting so attached to keeping their characters alive that they weren't willing to take big swings. Shayne, whose character died TWICE. Was definitely not too precious about keeping his character alive, but like. WOW Courtney Amanda and Spencer all really were unafraid to both try to give their characters growth and change while still leaning into character-appropriate moves.

Amanda especially did such a good fucking job of like. Making big swings that made sense. As Gracie's worms progressed, Amanda actively gave Gracie character growth and depth even while committing to the comedy and horror of the worm infections. Shes so unafraid of committing to the character both comedically and narratively, its a fucking gift.

And of course, Brodie's character being hilarious until the very end coupled with the sacrifice.....

It was VERY satisfying to see Savannah full of (justified) rage throughout the last episode. Aware that she's not being treated well, aware that she's saving everyone's asses and is hands down the most capable person there. And ANGRY about it.

But even when she is angry. She is loyal. She sees a worm under Gracie's skin and- walks away, but doesn't leave, doesn't reveal it. She recieves the key and rages about being left- but still chooses to go after her. She's furious, but still, goes to the research area to get Gracie the cure. She is furuous, she knows she deserves better, she knows how capable she is now. And still she chooses. Gracie. And if that's not wildly codependent pretty toxic vaguely homoerotic gay girlie bffism idk what is.

Also Savannah fucking COOL AS SHIT in this episode. Hello. Action hero shit. Evades the blue worms. Gets the cures. Cures HERSELF. Queen shit.

Gracie's aggressive dedication to her father was obvs played up for comedy but can be so compelling if taken seriously. She doesn't even know how to conceptualize disagreeing with him. She's sure he'll keep her safe and to an extent she's RIGHT. He will. But only her. And in this world that means something different. Unquestioningly trusting him, unquestionably listening to him means something more. Her father asks her to kill Brodie and she basically does. Because she loves Brodie but loves her father more.

(And then they get there, and her father asks her to get rid of Savannah and Gracie doesn't. She doesn't want to.

Actually that alone has me unwell, Gracie tries to kill Brodie at her dad's request and then draws the line at Savannah. yk? yk? yk?)

Its so compelling to have Gracie as a character understand empathy and sacrifice and start unlearning her selfishness in the same moments that she is being devoured by worms and losing her control and humanity. Its VERY compelling. She is finally trying to look inward a bit, and its when being devoured from the inside out. The scene of her in the bathroom, turned away from Brodie, telling him to leave while half her face writhes with worms. She is trying to be better and probably won't survive long enough to actually do it.

Its also very comedic of like. She got some worms that ate her brain a little bit and not only is she not that much worse off, shes actually better as a person. Character development brainworms. Its kind of hilarious.

Brodie's fascination with and love for and dedication to Gracie despite her being terrible to him generally and their relationship being so new was both hilarious and touching in the way of classic horror/apocalypse/action movies. He's at the top of the bunker going "Well i gotta go get my gf!!!!" and its toxic and hilarious and like. vaguely sweet in the tropey movie way. Same thing with the love confession. And same thing with the heroic sacrifice. It was ridiculous, hilarious, dramatic, sincere, and deeply genre-appropriate. Fantastic way to play a romance in this genre with character who are generally pretty unpleasant and are only getting an ounce of growth in, truly, the 11th hour.

And honestly I was obsessed with the dynamic at the end. It was really "Gracie, her boyfriend Brodie, and Gracie's Savannah". No questions about it. It didnt even feel like Savannah would have been thirdwheeling it was just . Of course. Brodie loves Gracie. Gracie loves Brodie. Savannah loves/is devoted to Gracie, until the end. Gracie loves/is dependent on Savannah. Until the end. Obsessed with this. Obsessed.

Gracie saying to Savannah: "thank you for saving my life." Savannah saying: "Anytime." wow.

I probably need to write a separate post about Savannah/Gracie if I want to take their dynamic seriously actually. Its so compelling.

Savannah and Gracie in a nearly-empty shuttle shooting towards the moon together while Earth succumbs to manmade worm apocalypse is not a happy ending, but it also felt so right for both the genre and these trashfires of protagonists. They were all a little self absorbed and rash and foolish. Going to the moon doesn't actually solve any of the issues. The world is still dying by worm. Gracie's father is furious. I don't think Savannah or Gracie know how to fly a ship, much less survive on one? Or the moon. They're probably fucked.

But in this kind of scenario that's as good of an ending as youll get. And if nothing else, wow what a win for codependent toxic yuri-ism. Gracie finally realizing how valuable Savannah is, how much she loves her friends and how valuable it is that they love her- loved her. Savannah coming into her own confidence and still choosing Gracie as her priority- but consciously making that choice. Alone in a shuttle to the moon while the world dies. fucked up. very fun. veeery fun.

[ccieatchildren]

OKAY BUT THE CALLUM WHUMP IN THE DRAGON PRINCE SEASON 5!!!

Specifically S5 E8.

First, just him being locked away in the captain’s cabin, isolated and tortured by Finnegrin for the dark magic info.

And him absolutely refusing to reveal anything right now, laughing at Finnegrin for what he sees as a hypocritical thought process, because it would go against his morals and he doesn’t want to give Finnegrin the ability to kill Domina Profundis.

Finnegrin taunting him about his dark magic usage, typical villain spiel of asking if Callum has never thought about it or wanted/needed to use it. Learning that Callum has studied it extensively (and though Callum points out that he has also studied the other types, his curiosity always seems to get the better of him) and has once used it, to save his friends. Finnegrin taking this information in and twisting it on the boy. The defeated way Callum gets pushed out by Finnegrin, seeing all his friends chained up and having to make a “decision” for Finnegrin.

Finnegrin forcing Callum to choose one of his friends' hand to cut off. Not being able to choose anyone, and the gang standing up for each other, offering their own hands. Preaching the love and friendship deal, only to peeve off Finnegrin even more, who tries to goad Callum into using dark magic once again. You can see the way he actually thinks about it, the guilt in his eyes but also the determination to save his friends. Only for Rayla to escape, making sure to take any option for dark magic out of Callum's hands. I believe if Rayla hadn't intervened, Callum would've eventually gone through with it, as the main thing holding him back was said guilt and own mental blockage. Finnegrin then freezing Rayla's blood, putting her in excruciating pain, and Callum, doing a full 180, goes batshite over Rayla being tortured, decking Finnegrin full force in the face. He is calm when faced with his own pain, but when someone he loves is hurt, especially due to his inability to do anything, he immediately loses his temper.

However, this small win ends them back up at square one, with Callum tied up and at the captain's mercy. When Finnegrin tells him that he's gonna feed Rayla to the leviathan, and Callum can't do anything, he immediately gives up the info, thinking that would save her. Only for Finnegrin to turn around and go "nuh-uh," completely destroying him.

He can't even save the person he loves. Callum may have primal magic (one or two of the arcanum depending on how you want to look at it), but he still can't do anything; he is completely useless in this moment. Realizing this, all hope drains out of him, and he does the only thing he can think of, spill the beans. He begins to break his principles by telling Finnegrin the dark magic spell (one of the darkest spells at that), in hopes of him releasing Rayla, only for it to backfire and be completely for nothing. Now, not only can he not save Rayla, but now Finnegrin can kill Domina Profundis. The guilt weighs even harder on him, he has essentially doomed everyone.

Then, Callum gets out, stands up to Finnegrin, using his own arcanum against him, gaining said arcanum at the same time (also, I just really love how he figured it out, using Finnegrin's words against him, and the idea behind the ocean arcanum is just very fun, I just really liked this moment), and save his homies.

So, everything turns out fine, right? Nope!

Callum had to use dark magic to get out, preforming the same snake chain spell he had before on his restraints. When he was all out of options, Callum always reverts back to what he knows, even if it might break his morals. And while this action is totally justifiable, as he basically had to, Callum doesn't really seem to see it that way. Despite knowing that there are parts of himself he can't understand, he still is riddled with grief over it. The deep pain and guilt on his face as he hugs Rayla, not telling her or anyone else what he had to do to get out, shows us that he believes he had committed a grave sin. In his eyes, he is just as bad as Viren and Claudia, and he is still dealing with the PTSD of being possessed by Aaravos, of having the chance to turn completely to the dark side. This paranoia and anxiety makes him keep everything to himself. He doesn't think they would understand or forgive him, and he doesn't think they should, as he doesn't really either.

The ocean arcanum also gives us a look into Callum. He states himself about how it is accepting the hidden depths in oneself, even if you may not truly understand it. Callum's ability and willingness to do dark magic at times is part of those deeper depths. He doesn't truly understand it yet, and may never will, but, like any other human, there are many paths for him to follow. I do not think he is truly evil, or what he has done is irredeemable, but I believe that Callum, like all of us, is neither truly good or bad, but chooses where he takes himself (we also see this with Viren throughout the season). He could become someone filled with light and kindness, a "do-gooder" if you will, which is what I believe he wants to be, but he could also lead himself down a much darker path if he isn't careful, placing himself among the ranks of Aaravos, Viren, and Finnegrin, or he could be someone who carefully struts the line in the middle. The point is that it is up to him. Though he has become in tune with the ocean arcanum and those "hidden depths," him not accurately understanding his potential for darkness could usher him into a much more disastrous existence. Hopefully linking with the ocean arcanum will allow him to slowly accept these parts of himself and find a true balance between dark and primal magic, whatever that balance may be.

(Also the implications of him being the one in the intro rather than Viren...)

All in all, this whole episode was just very whump (even in the B plot somewhat). Callum and Finnegrin were very much whumpee and whumper -coded and you can't convince me otherwise.

The emotions in this episode for the main gang were top-notch. Watching what each character did to try to help themselves and their friends, and seeing the physical and emotional consequences of their actions (whether positive or negative) was amazing. Not just with Callum, but also the others (Ezran instantly offering himself up again and again, practically begging; Rayla breaking herself out to try and save Callum, only to be quickly and severely subdued; and Soren continuously taking the hits to help Elmer find his own worth, saving the gang in the process), was very well done.

ABSOLUTELY SCRUMDIDDLYUMPTIOUS!

I hope we get more moments like this in future seasons.

[heartofsol]

Elise & the Duke

Elise's relationship with her father isn't discussed very much. I think it's actually one of the most interesting aspects about 06.

In a flashback, he's shown telling a young Elise "Don't cry" and "Become a strong queen who doesn't cry no matter what happens" in response to her grieving over her mother's death, which is...not great. A child should be allowed to grieve over their deceased parent. Although the Duke means well and says this because he genuinely believes strong leaders never cry (which is far from the truth), that doesn't make what he's doing okay. It doesn't matter that he's saying it in a soft and gentle tone, either. To a child, it's likely gonna seem like a dismissal of their feelings (which it is). This also shows that he was telling Elise to never cry before he used her as a vessel to seal Iblis.

Another thing I find interesting is that Elise says "I understand everything my parents said to me now." It could imply that Elise's mother held the same sentiment as the Duke, but we don't know for sure.

Now, onto the Solaris Project. Some time before the project began, the Duke told Elise that Solaris' power would allow them to travel through time and rectify past mistakes. The main reason the Duke began the project was so Elise could see her late mother again. Once again, good intentions, but the Duke experimenting with supernatural forces beyond his understanding cost him his life and hurt many people, perhaps his daughter most of all.

So long story short, the project goes wrong and the Duke is fatally wounded in an explosion but shortly before his death, he sealed the Flames of Disaster in Elise and pretty much left her clean up his mess. She was cursed to never shed a single tear, had to rule an entire kingdom at a young age, is relentlessly pursued and kidnapped by a madman who wants to harness her power, and when she makes a single friend, he gets murdered right before her eyes by the creature that her father experimented on all those years ago. Elise is suffering the consequences for her father's actions.

And how does Elise feel about her father after all this? She still loves him deeply. She doesn't express any anger towards him or angst about the way he treated her, or that he inadvertently caused her suffering, even though she has every right to do so. You get the sense that she doesn't realize her father's "love" was actually quite abusive, which is just really tragic. At the start of the game, Elise lacks confidence, is unsure of what she can do in her situation, and even blames herself for the things that are happening. Her attitude gradually changes when she meets Sonic, who encourages her to be more proactive and truly enjoy life instead of being restricted by her role as a princess.

Yet people get on Elise's case for breaking down once at the tail end of the game over the fact that she'd lose the memories of her only friend and would be separated from him?

Elise doesn't mean what she said in this moment, and blows out Solaris' flame to save the world seconds later. She had to bottle up her emotions for a decade and now has to say goodbye to the person whom she grew to love over the course of their adventure. Her reaction here is more than justified.

Elise is such a good character 🤍

[the-orion-scribe]

Why are we hating on Ford while defending Mabel?

Reposting from my Reddit version. A quick Ford defence essay.

It's about this meme post (on r/GravityFalls) I've seen defending Mabel lately. It has since been deleted (turns out it's a repost), but the comments still remains. Something mind-boggling to me is that while the comments are in defence of Mabel, some went on hard on Ford instead.

I know the GF fandom as a whole is beyond the Mabel hate already. And I understand all the passion behind defending her and so on. But... Instead the tide has turned to hate Ford instead. To blame him for starting Weirdmageddon. Shoving many accusations on Mabel towards Ford.

Yes, we all know Ford is a flawed character. He has his own hubris and everything, but like, people are demonising him like how haters demonised Mabel. Ok, perhaps at the most to blame is him summoning Bill in the first place. But don't y'all also see the manipulation tactics Bill employed on Ford, especially in The Book of Bill? Sure, Ford was naive, and thought the portal would open the door to the answers he needed. But he was also trusting what he believed to be a friend. How would he know the worst that could really happen?

And then people raised how it was Ford's fault that he told Dipper not to reveal to Mabel about the Rift. In his defence, Ford is also protecting the others, as he said so himself in Journal 3. If more people knows about the rift, the more Bill could target. And hence Ford resolved to shoulder the burden himself, and later Dipper, whom he could trust.

Ofc, does this mean he doesn't trust Mabel? No! It's just that he wasn't sure she could also share this burden. We have to remember that Ford has initial great impressions of Mabel. People forget that Mabel was actually the first twin Ford interacted with, and it was largely positive. When Mabel stated Ford's six-fingered handshake was one finger friendlier than normal, he laughed and said he liked her. Given how much he was shunned by many others for his extra fingers, it probably warmed him to hear someone saying something positive about his anomaly.

Nevertheless, as Ford notices Dipper's abilities in Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons, he began to view Dipper as one who could carry on his baton of paranormal hunting. That said, he has also entrusted Mabel with the unicorn mission in The Last Mabelcorn. Ford certainly favored Dipper a little more, seeing much of himself in his grandnephew, and overlooked the close knitted bond between the twins, but he certainly sees Mabel's strengths and shortcomings. Especially remarking on how sociable she is and so on. It's been elaborated a lot in my other essay on Ford and Mabel.

In the end, Ford at worst made a couple of mistakes, and maybe projected onto a 12 year old a bit too much, but considering what the guy has been through (even before Bill came along, like Filbrick's upbringing of the both of them), his actions were kind of understandable (even if they weren't exactly justified). Ford genuinely thought he was doing the right thing and cared about his family and friend even more than he admitted to himself. He didn't handle it as best as he should've but that doesn't mean he deserves to be hated or overcriticised by the fandom.

Ending off with these two wholesome pages from Thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com (type Ad Astra per Aspera). Thank you very much.

[maxwell-grant]

One thing I found interesting about Sofia's conversation with Sal is how she frames Oz telling her father about Sofia meeting with a reporter. It doesn't justify Oz's later actions, nor does it negate Sofia's grievances and anger, but it does interest me that for all her talk of helping the underclass of the Falcone Family she doesn't seem capable of processing the danger she put Oz in by having him take her to that meeting. Or, perhaps more accurately, she doesn't seem capable of processing that a driver would consider his life as valuable.

Even if she is partially manipulating Sal there, yeah. As I said in my Episode4 breakdown, even if it's not as prominent in the writer breakdowns of that moment, Oz was right to be scared shitless of what would have happened to him if Sofia kept digging around, or if anyone told Carmine that he was the one who drove her there to meet the reporter, even just Carmine finding out Sofia did something to displease him could have been enough to get Oz killed as punishment. If Carmine was willing to do what he did to his daughter, the future of the family, there was zero chance Oz wouldn't have been on the chopping block if literally anyone but Oz brought this to his attention. It's not like he didn't try to reach out to Sofia first and tell her how dangerous this was, and look at how that turned out for him.

Sofia even brings up on Episode 01 at their lunch, "If you hadn't gone to my father - He left you no choice". Now, obviously she does actually resent Oz for it, as she should, but she nominally does understand that Oz didn't do it solely because he wanted to rise up the ranks (even if that was undeniably part of it) and that there was self-preservation involved. But it doesn't matter that Oz wanted to save or improve his life, because Oz's life doesn't matter, certainly not to the extent that Sofia's reliance on him mattered.

Oz and Sofia care about the underprivileged and the downtrodden, and they genuinely care about those whose circumstances they share, but only so far, and mostly in service to their operations and to their self-mythologizing fueling them in their journeys, and the show never loses track of the ways Sofia's privilege affect her thinking - note that Sofia, for all that she talks about victims being neglected and forgotten, and for all that she does mean it, does not seem to extend that compassion to the Arkham patients - they were "monsters" she had to fight to get out of the dungeon her father put her in (Magpie simply being Arkham Oz, the annoying fake friend conspiring against her to the big bad in charge - if I had a nickel everytime a bird-themed Batman villain sold me out and so on).

I can't think of a Batman thing that is so thoroughly committed to class dynamics on a foundational level as this (and the movie also), and really any Penguin show would feel incomplete without it. And honestly, the end of Episode 3 even shows that, for all the awful things Sofia endured because Oz tattled on her, for all the resentment she holds towards him, for how much her body screams at her not to trust him, she was still sincerely willing to hear out his excuses and bury the hatchet and give him another chance - and of course it turns out that he actually did something infinitely worse and had been lying to her about it the entire time, which is par for the course with Oz. Every time he slips away from an impossible jam, he lands face first into another one.

[cinnamonest]

Yandere Profile - Kaveh

Happy birthday baby boy. Angel. Blessed boy. I want to hold his face in my hands and squish. I love a man that's just a lil bit pathetic, as all men should be. If I can't occasionally point at a man and laugh what's even the point

(Also I added a question to the list that I'll be using in all future profiles as well ^_^)

//dubcon/noncon, yandere, fem reader, manipulative behavior, n/s/fw section + implications/mentions of not sfw throughout

------

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

Kaveh falls head over heels, face-first, and he tries so, so hard. It's pitiful, really.

He's somewhat on the milder side in terms of what he'll actually do to you and others, provided you comply with him and don't give him reasons to become worse. He's just... very, very intense. In lots of ways, he's a very ideal partner to have, so much so that there's a very good chance you'll end up together of your own volition, making him more of an over-attached boyfriend than a stalker from a distance.

At the very least, even if not a romantic partnership, he will surely become an active part of your life very quickly. Which you likely won't mind, given his pleasant disposition and empathetic nature. What's not to like? Compared to a roster full of individuals ranging anywhere from unhinged and violent to cold or cruel to prideful and infuriating, Kaveh feels like a breath of fresh air. He's considerate, he's empathetic, he really likes making you happy. He recognizes his feelings very early on and has no trouble understanding them, so there's not a lot of time that passes between meeting you and trying to get closer to you. It doesn't take a lot to get him infatuated, either, namely just showing him some kindness.

A waitress or bartender that he sees regularly that's always sweet to him, a stranger that calls out to him to give him something he dropped, a former classmate he still sees around sometimes, pretty much anything, he just latches on to any gesture or display of kindness or affection. Kaveh has the same vibe as a stray cat -- you feed it once, and watch it come back again and again until it just decides to permanently stick around you, only he feeds off of smiles and nice words and gestures. He's always conveniently showing up where you are, trying to brush it off as if he's surprised to see you there.

And again, it's head over heels, boy is in love, the sort of love where he's going around in this smiling daze all the time, mind off somewhere else to the point that he hmm?'s every time someone is trying to talk to him. He asks around about you to people who know you, starts showing up a short ways outside your door and greeting you in the mornings (you never told him where you live, though), starts making small mistakes in his work that he has to go back and fix because his mind was preoccupied with you. He also starts following you around a bit, just to a degree that he feels is still normal. He's not, like, some creep or anything.

Which is how he rationalizes things to himself -- he's well aware of his own feelings, yes, and he's not really a full-blown delusional type per se, but he does have a tendency to rationalize abnormal actions to himself, convince himself that certain things he does are okay or normal or reasonable when they very much are not. Or sometimes, he can acknowledge something is in fact not normal or okay, but he lies to himself that it's just this once and he won't do it again (he will), that everyone makes poor decisions or does some not-so-good things every now and then, or that he's doing what he does for good reasons, which justifies the action itself. It's a specific sort of delusion wherein he maintains lucidity and objective perception of everything else -- he doesn't think that everyone else who likes you is actually super evil and has malicious intent if they clearly don't, nor does he convince himself that you must love him, or anything like that -- it's limited to rationalizing his own actions.

And even then, it's fairly weak, not so much true delusion, because in the back of his mind, he doesn't actually believe it, it's just what he tells himself for a time to feel better about what he does. Even so, it can't last forever, and eventually he gives up and just has to live with the guilt. Thus, it gradually progresses to following you more and more, taking some things that won't be missed, and maybe he might or might not have climbed into your room and laid on your bed for a while because you left the window unlocked. Which is bad, but he won't do it again, it was just a one-time thing, really.

While he does rationalize acts he knows are considered "bad," he also engages in other behaviors he isn't quite as self-aware of, including both clingy tendencies as well as other behaviors that aren't noticed by anyone else, but he fails to stop and realize how abnormal and unwell said behaviors are. For the clinginess aspect, the closer to you he gets, the more comfortable he gets with complaining about his frustrations and stressors onto you, and frankly, he can get a bit whiny. It's not intentional, it's just that he doesn't have a lot of outlets, and he's under so much stress and you're so nice to him and you don't stop him from drinking so he just starts to go on and on and on, eventually leaning over onto you as he continues on about his woes. Sometimes for very long periods of time, if you don't stop him. He likes the attention and sympathy you never fail to give him.

Which tends to happen a lot anyway, since you notice the poor thing seems rather prone to misfortune and mishap, at least whenever you see him. There was that time he showed up to you all scraped up, forearms covered in little cuts because of, when you inquired, apparently helping that traveler friend of his fight some common criminals as part of some mission or another. He didn't bother to take care of the wounds in any way, seeing as they were fairly minor, but you started fussing about infections and insisted he come over and sit down and let you wrap them up and treat it to the best of your ability.

You poor thing, you said. He can recall the softness and concern in your voice. You said something about how he should be more careful, that he could come back to you if he got hurt again, that he must be rather brave and strong to get into fights like that. He doesn't remember all the exact words due to the dizzy fuzzy warm feeling all over. You only recall that he started to show up to your home within a few days with significantly worse wounds, which you once again worried and fretted over and tended to for his sake. It becomes something of a routine. You think to yourself that it's sweet that he smiles the whole time despite being hurt. You assume it's forced so as to not make you worry more.

Also, Kaveh has a drive to learn about the things he likes, more intensely so than the average person. He's been academically successful for a variety of reasons, such as being both naturally suited for at and passionate about his craft, but also possessing the general ability to intake, retain, understand, and apply information. And when it comes to you, he undergoes an experience very much akin to how he used to discover some area of special interest in his field while studying, he'd come across and become fascinated by a certain style or era of architecture or the like, and spend days on end absorbing information on it.

Similarly, he feels a compulsion to know you, to learn everything he can in relevance to you. He takes any available avenues to do so, be it from others, from quietly observing you and your behaviors and habits, normal things... and maybe some more intrusive things. It can't be that private of a conversation, since you know he's supposed to be in the other room, so it can't be that big of a deal if he just quietly shuffles his way over and puts his ear to the door, just to listen in on who you're talking to. And if you wrote things that were really that private or secret, you wouldn't leave your journal sitting right there on your desk, you'd hide it away somewhere, so it can't be that bad to read it.

Regardless of those more secretive behaviors, his outward, non-secretive behaviors are a lot more obvious than he realizes, so much so that you're not at all surprised when he finally does muster up the courage to say something to you. He's also rather nervous and consequently awkward, at least when sober. He's like a little schoolboy trying to confess to a playground crush, stumbles over his words, lots of nervous smiling.

Still, you're fairly inclined to accept. He's always been so sweet, he's pretty, you see no reason not to, and he seems positively elated when you agree. The poor thing is in such a daze that he walks headfirst into a lamppost after walking you home and parting for the night (you laughed, but you still ran over to help him back up). Sure, he's a bit clingy, that much is already obvious, but you figure he'll calm down at least a little bit once you start seeing each other more.

That, however, turns out to not be the case. Quite the opposite.

The most noticeable behavior from the get-go is that he is almost a bit too attached, and he develops a bit of a dependency very quickly. Now, it's more acceptable for him to know where you are and be around you and all that, so he makes sure to do so at every opportunity. To an even greater degree than before, which turns out to be somehow possible. He moves very very fast, in terms of a relationship. You've heard the phrase I love you within a few days, he wants to move in together within no time, he's spending what little extra money he has on you at every opportunity from the get-go. Sure, there's a "honeymoon phase" where it's normal to be super clingy to each other, but it quickly becomes clear his is not dying down any time soon.

And he cares about you so much, so it's okay for him to want to know where you are if he can't find you, to get a bit upset and frustrated with you when you disappear for fifteen minutes because you went to the store to pick up something and didn't tell him (or, ideally, take him with you). Which you can dismiss and blow off as him just being stressed or anxious once or twice, but it soon becomes clear you can't so much as leave his line of sight for a few minutes without him going to look for you.

Then starts the isolation from others. Sure, you could go out with your friends, but he forgot you had that planned and may or may not have gotten takeout for both of you, so you can miss it this once, right? And then the next time, it's that it's just that you all are planning to meet so late at night, and he doesn't feel comfortable with that kind of risk... so on and so on. You soon realize you haven't spent time with anyone else in quite some time. Whenever you do talk to someone, he always wants to know who they are and what you talked about. He doesn't demand to know, or sound angry or anything, he just... asks. Just out of curiosity, you know.

He just wants to be with you, spend time with you, talk to you, be involved in the little aspects of your daily life. It's just that that means... everything. All the time. Every single second of every single day. Even the phrase "every waking second" doesn't quite cover it, because he'll be there every second of your sleep as well, clinging to you tightly. He wants to be there when you wake up, and when you get ready in the mornings, and when you walk to your daily routine of work or school or whatever, and he'll linger and talk and talk until the last possible second, until you remind him for a third time that you're both going to be late if you don't go your separate ways, where he'll finally relent and wish you a good day. Then he starts to make sure he gets to eat lunch at the same time as you, so you see each other then too! And then he's right there to greet you as you leave for the day, and then you can walk home, and then he'll be there the whole evening, clinging to you both emotionally and physically, talking and cuddling and staying right there by your side, and then he'll ask if he can stay over for the night as he always does these days, and then you'll go to bed and he won't leave your side all night long. And of course, he'll bring up the idea of moving in with you yet again, that he could pitch in for the rent and it would save you both money, and you'll give a vague non-answer because you're not quite ready for that but don't want to hurt his feelings, deflect and try to change topics again. And then the cycle repeats.

Day after day. Without relent. Endlessly. To say it's starting to affect you psychologically would be an understatement.

Of course, with all the unfavorable aspects combined, you might just start to think that maybe you made a mistake, maybe you should think about suggesting you take a break...

Except he seems to kind of sense that. Even if it's just subconscious, he sort of detects your body language and recent behaviors and realizes something has you unhappy or discontent or just distant from him. It makes him feel this awful pit of dread in his stomach, the mere notion makes him sick. You wouldn't ever leave him, though, would you?

He was already attached to you beforehand, but now, his entire happiness and sense of purpose depends on you. You become his entire world, the only thing that really matters. The only thing he really thinks about or cares about. If, for whatever reason, you were to suddenly disappear from his life... well, then he would have nothing left. His passion for his work alone can't keep him going, now that he's had a taste of the euphoric feeling of such intense emotion towards someone. Nothing else will ever compare. You wouldn't do that to him.

But just in case. Whenever he gets this feeling like you're getting distant or like you're going to soon tell him something he doesn't want to hear, he makes sure that he has something prepared to prevent the worst. Expensive gifts he scraped enough together for, planning some big night that will make you happy, doing some significant act of service or favor for you. Something that wins over your favor, makes sure you remember you love him and don't ever think of leaving him. Or maybe even just holding you close and reminding you that you're everything to him, that he needs you, that he wouldn't know how to keep going if he didn't have you. Just to make sure you know how much you'd hurt him, how awful you would be, if you ever got any ideas about not needing him as much as he needs you.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

Kidnapping is something that would only ever be a last resort. Kaveh ideally wants something very close to a normal relationship. In his mind, what he wants is a normal relationship, he's just... maybe a bit clingier and more protective than most. But otherwise, he's very normal!

Nothing unusual, he just wants to... move in together. Get a place together that he can pay part of (eventually he'll make enough to pay for it all by himself, so he promises). Or you can even just move in with him where he is now! It'll be, uh, awkward, but Alhaitham will probably be okay with it. You've already spent a lot of nights there, and he's only told Kaveh to go over to your place instead so he can 'get at least one night without having to sleep with earpieces in for once, you do realize I can hear literally everyth--' well, anyway, he's only been driven to the point of saying that a handful of times, so as long as you're careful with the, uh, timing, it should be fine.

The whole moving in together thing does get sprung on you very fast, like, a matter of maybe a week at minimum. A bit too fast, so you can gently put him down and try to hold off for a while, but he'll take the first opportunity you allow, and with enough pushing, you're bound to agree eventually.

Which makes him very happy. Now he can be around you that much more.

He does have some ideas, though, to gently suggest to you, on your future and how the relationship should work and all that. He saves up enough to decide that you don't need to work or have a job, you can stay at home and take care of domestic stuff and not have to worry about ever leaving. Oh, well, you can leave to get groceries and stuff, just... don't go by yourself, okay? Let him go with you. That way you'll never have to be alone outside without him, that's all. You know, he read this headline on a public news board the other day, said pickpocketing and theft in the area has been rising, so you know, just to be safe, you never know who's out there. Best to just not go out in public alone. And if you really do have to go meet someone or get something alone, just be sure to let him know. In fact, here's a fun idea, how about each morning you give him an hour-by-hour plan of what you anticipate doing that day? Just so he can have an idea of where you'll be, just for safety's sake. And be sure to be there at this and that time, since he'll use his breaks to come back and check on you, and he would get really worried if you weren't exactly where he anticipates you to be, you know?

As long as you can mutually agree to be safe by following those little guidelines, everything will be fine, he won't have any reason to worry, and he'll be content. Should you disregard his suggestions, though, he might get a bit more paranoid. Check on you more often. Try to talk it out, just let you know that, hey, he would really appreciate it if you could do like he asked you to and stick to the plan, he just worries about you is all. You understand that, don't you? He'll have to continuously bring it up the more you deviate from that plan, and maybe he'll have to, in is own words, 'get a bit annoying about it, haha...'

There is, however, one way that could potentially get you truly imprisoned in the classic obsessive-lover sense: attempting to go through with those thoughts of yours about leaving him.

You don't actually get to finish your spiel, when you try to bring it up and lay it on him as gently as possible. It's very obvious where you're headed, what you're about to say, so there's no need to let you finish talking, to make it all too real and actually be forced to hear the words he'd rather not. You can already see his face fall, his eyes get wide. It's... it's actually kind of creepy, unnerving and unsettling in a visceral way, a way that sends a genuine chill down your spine, like some instinct telling you something is very, very wrong. You find yourself trailing off and going quiet before you can even get the words out.

You instinctively take a step back when he moves towards you, but he's faster. Locks his hands around your wrists with a crushing grip. His face is completely blank, pupils small from having widened eyes.

You don't... you don't mean that.

HIs voice is eerily quiet and soft. You try to pull back, but his grip is unrelenting. You say something else, but he acts as if he doesn't hear you. Pulls you along as he starts to walk. Doesn't respond when you ask what he's doing. You feel a sense of alarm growing heavier in your chest. He pulls you into your shared bedroom.

I think we both need to just calm down for a while.

His voice is still ominously quiet, devoid of emotion. You try to step back, but he pulls you forward again. Lays down, takes you with him. Holds you tight, runs a hand up and down your back, slow soothing motions, totally silent. A moment ago you were trying to end things, but you suddenly feel very, very nervous at the thought of saying anything further, some instinct telling you that trying to break away or insist on leaving would be a very, very bad idea. You don't like the thought of that, the implications of the fact that you're pretty sure it's your innate danger and self-preservation instincts telling you to stay quiet. You find yourself trembling in his hold.

And after a while like that, he finally says something.

I really love you.

You know what the appropriate response is. Even if you're filled with resentment and irritation, those same self-preservation instincts force out the correct response. He sighs when you say it, like he was afraid of hearing something else.

I'm... glad. See, we just needed to relax for a moment. That's all.

And when he stands up, smiling again, you think the moment is over, that the eye-opening momentary episode of whatever the hell that was is done and you can escape. But then, he gently pushes you back onto the bed.

I think... you need to stay in here for now. I'll be back in just a little while with some food, okay?

Once more, the instincts tell you not to resist, at least not now. O-oh, uh... okay...

He hums in response and smiles, and for a moment, you think everything is fine now, that maybe he's just emotional and in a bad state of mind, maybe he'll come back and apologize, maybe he'll finally agree that this isn't working out and wish you the best... but when he shuts the door and you hear the distinct sound of heavy furniture scraping against the floor as something is pushed in front of the door, a sinking feeling of dread swells in your stomach. Another instinct, somehow even worse than your prior fear, tells you you won't be leaving this room for a long time.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

Because he doesn't really want to restrain you much in the first place, the only thing really holding you in any given place, at least initially, is his gentle suggestions on where you should or shouldn't be, and specifically some very strong urging to stay away from certain places or people. Really, the biggest hurdle is his presence, seeing as he clings to you so much, it's hard to get away, and he'll do everything in his power to stop you from leaving if he's right there, namely standing in between you and your path, trying to change the subject or stuttering to find something to say to distract you and deter you from leaving.

Should you try to slip away and get a little bit of time to yourself, it probably won't last long. Firstly, he notices your absence near-immediately, and seems to have some innate ability to find you, like a bloodhound or something. You didn't give him any hints or implications as to where you'd be going, yet somehow he manages to show up there as his first guess of places to look...? The only possibility that actually makes sense is that he's obsessively learned your own mental process tendencies to such a degree that he was able to predict your own conscious choices, which frankly terrifies you in its own way, so you choose to believe it's coincidence.

He always calms down once he does find you, but he stays quiet as you head home (he insists you go home right now, and the unusual, almost out of character intensity to the command makes you nervous enough to comply). Once home, he'll go through his usual cycle of being cold and quiet, then expressing his feelings all in one frustrated rant. Holds onto you, buries his face in the crook of your neck.

This is where one of his talents comes in -- albeit largely a subconscious behavior, he's masterful at guilt-tripping. Keeps talking about how he was so worried, how he doesn't understand why you want to hurt him like this, he cares so much about you and it feels like that means nothing to you, on and on it goes. Any irritation on your part is met with more and more guilt-tripping, sucking you down until you can't be mad or express your own frustrations that led to this for long because come on, look at him, he's looking like a wounded puppy and talking about how much he loves you, how can you be so mean? It's not asking a lot, is it? Are you really mad that he cares so much about you...?

No? Now you sigh and shake your head and get out something about how you're sorry, but-- You don't get to finish the sentence, though. He's already wrapped his arms around you, smiling and assuring you he'll try to be around more so he can take you wherever. Just... don't do this to him again, okay? The way he grips your shoulders like he's trying to break them when he says it makes you inclined to stutter out an agreement out of impulse, even if you regret saying it a moment later.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

It's easy enough on a purely practical level, but honestly, it's hard to not feel guilty for doing so, given how sincere and loving he is. He's pretty gullible, it's not hard to fool him. He'll just get really sad once he realizes you did, in fact, lie to him. Or, if you lie about something like where you'll be or what you'll be doing because you didn't want him to get all worried and paranoid (such as going out with friends, which always makes him very paranoid), he gets nervous. If it's bad enough, it might be one of the few occasions where he really raises his voice and gets upset, asking you what you were thinking and why you didn't listen to him, why you couldn't just talk it out, and so on. But his anger very quickly gives way to being rather hurt and bitter, resulting in him isolating himself and sulking for some time. He takes a few days to get over the sense of betrayal, but his recovery is expedited if you try to make it up to him or apologize for it. Apologizing is especially a wise move -- even though he tries to be understanding and often tries to agree to whatever you want to make you happy, when it comes to things like this, where it's a matter of your wellbeing or a moral issue, he really toughens up and becomes much more firm in his resolve, even stubborn, when it comes to things of that nature.

And as easy as lying to him is, manipulating him is even easier, you barely have to try. Just give him a little bit of affection and talk to him in a sweet cooing voice, and he'd walk off a cliff if you asked him to. You hold a lot of power in your hands. If you end up abusing it enough, he'll eventually realize he's being manipulated... but even then, he can't bring himself to stop. He just loves you so much, he lives for the high he gets from hearing you thank him and hug him and kiss him for doing things for you. You can even convince him to do morally bad things for you, if you push him enough, although he'll be sullen and sad afterwards, so if you have a heart, try not to abuse this power.

And another thing. The moment sex is involved, he becomes somehow even more manipulable than he already was. An inch of bare skin or a few sweet suggestive words in a sultry voice will have him going red in the face before bending over backwards to do whatever you want and performing requested tasks at the speed of light, often without even thinking through what it is he's been roped into doing. It's rather cute and amusing, really. Again, please be careful with the power you hold.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He would like to allow you to do anything you want -- and he'd never force you to not do something you want, of course! -- but obviously, anyone who cares for someone has certain limits and boundaries, which are there because of love for someone. After all, if you love someone, you won't let them do something reckless and stupid or dangerous. If anything, allowing someone to do whatever without regard for safety would indicate apathy. That's why it's understandable -- you should be glad, even -- that he's very conscious of your well-being and risks thereof.

You can do pretty much anything, so long as it's inside. He'll spend whatever he has buying you anything you want to do, supports any non-dangerous hobbies. It's just... you can't go outside, not without him at least. He'll gladly take you anywhere you want as long as it's when he has free time, though! Just... just abide by this one simple request, please? That's the only thing he takes an issue with. You can dress however you want, act however you want, do whatever you want. He just doesn't want you putting yourself at risk is all.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Again, it's pretty much entirely about staying inside and not going out, and he would really appreciate you do that one thing for him. It's not asking a lot, right? Well, then there's all the checkups throughout the day and insistence on communication, but that all ties back to the same main rule. But to be honest, he really doesn't like thinking of it as a "rule," that word has this... authoritative, controlling connotation to it that he really doesn't like. It makes him feel guilty to think of it like that, like he's doing something wrong. He'd be really hurt if you referred to it that way.

Likewise, punishing you for not following something you both agreed to sounds a bit harsh. He'll try to talk with you about it, of course, communication and mutual understanding is important, and the key to a happy relationship. The only issue is you might not come to that mutual understanding. But even if you don't agree, he can't just let you do as you please, and put yourself in danger, as well as give him constant anxiety. If you can't seem to reach an understanding, he might just have to get an extra lock from the outside. You may call that unnecessary or absurd, but he's very insistent, and if confronted on it, will get huffy and cross his arms, say something about how it's incredible you're getting mad about him caring about you. He's good at overdramatizing like that to deflect from his own actions, to sort of shift the blame onto you. The more you try to bring it up, the more he'll talk over you, keep distracting and refuse to acknowledge the actual problem.

While he also doesn't call it a rule either, he also is really insistent that you communicate. He gets very paranoid if you won't talk to him, if you try to give him silent treatment or something like that. So if you pull this behavior a few times, he'll try to sit down and have a talk with you about how communicating is very important, and how when you refuse to speak to him it makes him really really nervous and he feels so sick to his stomach and his mind assumes the worst and the paranoia eats away at him and... well, just, can you both maybe agree to not do that? That when you're upset, you'll just tell him you are and why? Please?

He'll be very relieved if you agree, but do note that in practice, this rule actually only applies to you. He, on the other hand, will very commonly get quiet and refuse to elaborate on why he's upset without coaxing. But he tells you eventually once you give him the attention he wants, so, it counts as compliance with the agreement, in his mind.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Kaveh would strongly prefer to avoid homicide if at all possible, and will go to great lengths to avoid it.  He's not a particularly confrontational or aggressive person at all. He's also self-aware enough to know that starting any actual up-front conflict with someone else would just be embarrassing himself, and you as well.

It's not as if there isn't a brief second where the thought does cross his mind, though. That it would be so much easier to deal with everything if he could just permanently get rid of someone.

But he's just not that sort of person. He's rational and empathetic, he's not the sort of obsessed that will convince himself the other person is committing a transgression worthy of death just by liking you. He knows that killing them would be an incredibly selfish, abhorrent act... and, of course, very much a crime, one that has the potential to ruin his life if found out.

He does try roundabout ways. He's a sweet person and most people like him, so he has heard his fair share of talk and gossip that circulates around the community. Ideally, he can find someone else that likes the person who likes you, encourage them to go for it and pursue the one they want, and everything works out perfectly. Well, that's how he envisions it in his head, but he knows it probably won't be that easy.

He puts himself to work trying every other angle he can. Digs around for information on the individual, trying to find some negative thing to use against them — a violation that could get them expelled or jailed, a secret he can post on a public bulletin and ruin their reputation, anything. He feels bad, of course, but it's the morally superior option to murder, and that thought helps him feel less guilty.

If worse comes to worse, he can still cause inconveniences. They're going to go meet up with you? Not with their keys hidden they aren't, preventing them from locking their door. He'll find countless little ways to sabotage, all in the hope that it will somehow ruin the relationship between the two of you... he'll feel bad, but it's worth it.

For him to ever actually, truly reach a point where killing is a realistic possibility, it would require a lot of pushing and desperation. He would have had to exhaust every other possible option, and feel that he's at a point where he'll lose you permanently unless he takes some form of drastic action. Even then, the downside of this is that he actually doesn't plan a murder, he ends up doing something spontaneous and impulsive out of a sudden panic response. There's an opportunity — they're standing at the edge of a railing they would die if they fell from, he knows which drink is theirs and there's pest poisons just sitting right there so temptingly, or something of that nature — and he just takes it on an impulse, only to process his own actions a second too late.

The downside of this is that the homicide will certainly be discovered, so it's not as if it's just a person gone missing, but it's just perfectly done enough that they never have any idea who might have done it, or, it may be written off as an accident, depending on the specifics. Nonetheless, you notice that you haven't seen Kaveh in a few days... turns out he's holed up in his home, with his roommate saying something must be wrong with him, because he's been sick and feverish... it's very unfortunate timing, seeing as you were hoping to go to him for some comfort over the loss of another friend, but you can just wait for him to feel better.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

He may be sweet, but it's not really that hard to get him upset. He's rather patient, tries to be understanding. If you have some disagreement, he tries his best to be calm and see things from your perspective and all that. But there is a limit to his patience.

However, his poor moods aren't really what you'd call true anger, he's more prone to this quick cycle where he first gets frustrated and huffy, then sullen and sad and moody. The first stage is lots of heavy frustrated sighs, he crosses his arms and grinds his teeth. He doesn't yell or shout, but he does raise his voice just a bit, and it's clearly audibly irritated. Prone to using those phrases with "if" and "just" -- if you would just listen, or if we could just do that, then, or if they just leave you alone, so on and so on, creating these scenarios where his ideal is the most reasonable outcome, and it's dependent on you or someone else to meet some simple condition, at which point everything would work out perfectly, making you or some other person the only thing inhibiting said ideal outcome. If he's really, really mad, he doesn't want to end up saying something that would hurt you or anything, and he gets the impulse to just go walk it off and cool down, so he actually ends up storming off, muttering something about needing just a few minutes. It's actually one of the few times he ever leaves you alone, funnily enough. It doesn't last too long before he comes back, and that's only on rare occasions that he reaches that point.

After that first stage, after getting out the frustration, it gives way to feeling all sad and melancholy, so he tends to mope. And whine. And sulk. And wallow in feeling sorry for himself. And, if possible, drink the feelings away. It's kind of childish, really, and often overdramatic. If you're present and it's not you who made him feel that way to begin with, he doesn't actually outright say anything or ask for anything, but he goes out of his way to be extra mopey and sad and makes sure it's right within your field of vision, hoping you will give him attention and love and encouragement. Just sort of silently sits there all sad and waits for some attention. And yes, this means that if you haven't caught onto it due to being spaced out or focused on something else, and go into another room, he will sort of quietly trail behind you and go into the next room with you before sitting down and sulking again, until you finally catch on and give him the attention he craves.

If you are the reason he's all hurt, even unintentionally, he might resort to giving you a bit of silent treatment, with a similar goal: hope that you'll give him attention and ask what's wrong and then ask what's wrong again when he says 'nothing' and then gasp and apologize when he tells you and say you didn't mean what you did or said that way and hold him and kiss his forehead and... well, that's how it plays out in his head.

If you're trying to make him mad intentionally, though, he's likely to see through it, and again, he just gets hurt. Why are you being so mean? Did I do something? He actually gets really, genuinely hurt by this sort of behavior, and will likely make you feel so guilty for trying it that you cease and refocus your efforts to a different tactic.

How do they express affection, or attempt to endear themselves to you?

It would be easier to ask how he doesn't. He tries every angle, every means of expression, manages to have every "love language" simultaneously. He's always getting you various little gifts (how is he affording that?), always saying nice things, always doing things for you and helping you with any task you wish, always spending time with you (even if you don't want it), and if you'll allow it, he's very, very cuddly. While he does it all, he's especially focused on getting stuff for you, despite his lack of funds.

Maybe it's because it's just his preferred way of expressing his affection, but perhaps there's also a more manipulative side to it -- he knows that you know that he doesn't have a lot of money, so if you see that he's spending what little he does have on you, it will seem that much more significant, right? You'll notice, and then it will seem like an even bigger, more meaningful gesture because of that. You'll thus be more emotionally moved by the gesture, and you'll surely want to repay him with affection and attention. Whether that's just a natural exchange of sentiments or a subtly manipulative means of trying to win your favor, well, you can think whatever you like.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

It somewhat depends on his mood. On better days, he'd like to just disregard such notions as "value" of an individual person, thinks the concept is shallow and meaningless, the sort of thing only either very prideful or very insecure people would even care to think about. Who cares what someone's "worth" is, or if someone is "better" or "worse" than someone else? As long as two people love each other, nothing else should matter, right?

But on worse days, when he's sulking and his thoughts wander to negative places, he starts to feel like you're better than him, to the extent it can make him depressed. When he's not in a good mood, he often lays around wallowing, deep in thought about how you can do so much better than him, there's no way you'd ever choose to stay with him permanently, and even if you do like him, surely someone better will come along and he'll lose you... sigh.

When he's in such a sulking mood, it's very outwardly obvious, he gets quieter than usual and a sad look on his face. So if you just give him a bit of reassurance, maybe a hug and cuddles and a kiss to the forehead and some sweet uplifting words (please), he'll perk right back up. Well, the thought will still be in the back of his mind, but he can't stay too sad when you're giving him attention. He'll just keep feeding off your reassurance for a while until the contentment from it runs out, and then he gets depressed again, and then you reassure him again, and, well, it cycles like that.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

If you haven't accepted him, he's still incredibly determined, in spite of a tendency to sometimes be pessimistic in his own thoughts about the matter. He bounces back and forth -- he'll undergo a brief sad spell thinking about how he'll never make you like him, but he comes out of it with newfound determination that he'll either win you over or die trying. This repeats over and over, at least until you show some semblance of affection or attention, which will serve as a fuel he manages to stretch out for an incredibly long time thereafter.

...And don't give him any ideas, because seriously, he will die trying. This man will put his own well-being at great risk for a chance to impress you. Seriously. He doesn't even really need you to do anything to push him, even. He will do something incredibly stupid and he will get himself hurt if you don't actively stop him from doing so. Over time you kind of develop a sixth sense, a radar where you can feel when he's about to do something stupid, so use it wisely.

If you do accept him and agree to be with him, he'd like to think you already do love him, but to be honest, he gets insecure pretty easily and, while he won't actually ask for it because he deems it too pathetic, he would very much appreciate if you remind him you love him on a regular basis.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

His reluctance to do anything he deems immoral does not combine well with his desire to secure you all to himself. The two don't exactly go hand-in-hand, it's difficult to ensure someone remains around you at all times and never interacts with anyone else without taking some unsavory measures to get to that point. Hence, he takes so many roundabout measures of getting the results he wants, and does so much by proxy -- not only does it prevent a lot of things from being tracked back to him, but it also alleviates himself of guilt. That alone sets him apart from the typical type of obsessive lover and their tendencies to kill, rape and kidnap without much hesitancy.

When he does engage in morally questionable behaviors and manipulative tactics, though, it's really not even intentional. That behavior isn't even necessarily a conscious choice, he doesn't really think about it or intend it to be part of some bigger picture of control, it's just that whenever you mention going out to see other people, or when he doesn't know where you are, or when you're paying more attention to something else than him, he gets this awful sick feeling and acts on impulses to soothe his nerves, which just so happens to be keeping you right by his side and ensuring he has your full attention. It's not malicious, or intentionally controlling or manipulative. He just cares so, so much and loves you so, so much and the behaviors just come out without him really putting any intentional thought into them, nor has it ever occurred to him as an afterthought. It just doesn't really cross his mind, he doesn't reflect on his own actions all that much.

If he was made aware of how manipulative he can be, forced to come to the realization of everything he's done, it would come as a bit of a shock to him, and would leave him more or less a psychological mess for a little while as he comes to terms with the fact that, despite his best conscious intentions, he's actually been pretty awful in some ways. He would come out of it swearing to himself to be better, thinking he will keep better track of himself in the future and think his actions through, that he'll make up for anything bad that he's done before... but, of course, the chances of that resolve lasting in the face of situational impulses is not that great, and in the heat of the moment, any thoughts he has that what he might be about to do is kind of distasteful behavior will be overridden by some momentary justification, which will be reinforced and repeated to himself afterwards to make himself feel better.

On a more wholesome note, Kaveh also gets really enthusiastic about your passions, talents and hobbies. He understands passion and dedication to a craft or art form, having the same experience himself, and gets really into supporting you in your endeavors, should you have anything of the sort. Whether it's something artsy like music or drawing or dance, or something more sport-related or science-related, doesn't really matter, he just really makes an effort to support you and encourage you. He'll tell you whatever you've created is amazing (even if you both know it's not), he'll spend whatever money he gets his hands on to buy materials or supplies or other thematic gifts (even though you keep telling him not to, to save his money), and he always asks tons of questions. It's partially a genuine, heartfelt sentiment, and it's also just partially an obsessive compulsion to know everything there is to know regarding you, but he also does very much hope that you will be happy and appreciate his efforts, and that in turn you'll think more highly of him and have more affection for him. Basically, it's partially yet another means of trying to win your favor. Nonetheless, it's really sweet and endearing.

Finally, in all honesty, Kaveh can be pretty sensitive. Especially in regards to you. It's easy to hurt his feelings, and when he's hurt, he goes into one of his attention-seeking moping sessions. You often find yourself feeling like you can't be entirely honest with him, because he's so sensitive to your words and feelings, so if you're bluntly honest, you'll end up hurting his feelings fairly often. You sometimes have to just find ways to articulate what you want to say in a way to deflect from anything he might take too personally. Regardless, be prepared to deal with a lot of his sad wallowing. He'll be sad (and make sure you see it) until you come cheer him up, preferably with hugs and kisses and sweet words. He can get rather childish when it comes to this, so it's easy to get frustrated by his sensitivity, but it's easier for both of you if you just comply and be all sweet like he wants, or else you'll just create a bigger task for yourself when he gets even more upset.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

He's incredibly touchy, if you allow it. He's perceptive enough to tell if you flinch or draw away from his touch, so he'll refrain if he feels like it's bothering you, but if you seem to be receptive to his touches, he can't keep his hands off of you. All throughout the day, laying on the couch or in bed, he keeps his arms wrapped around you, always holds your hand in public, and clings to you in some way even just walking around the house. Depending on your height difference, he likes to rest his chin either on the top of your head or your shoulder, arms wrapped around you from behind while you work on whatever you're doing.

He's admittedly developed a habit of masturbation fairly regularly, so he's used to getting to cum pretty often, needs it at least once a day. He's fairly horny overall, but in particular, his drive increases as an emotional response. If he's in a good mood, the slightest of visual stimuli or touches can get him going, and he's very eager. If he's sad, though, he still gets horny over it, the purpose of wanting sex just changes, now being that it will cheer him up. The only time he really can't get easily aroused if when he's under very intense stress, situations that need to be resolved as fast as possible, he's just too focused on whatever the task at hand is to think about much else. He'll still very much appreciate (and not outright ask for, but maybe strongly hint at wanting) a nice blowjob or riding him when he's finished as a means of praising him for getting through his task, though.

He's a mix of reserved and not reserved. He's awkward about it and very new to it all, so he has a tendency to be shy about it, the sort of thing where he can't make eye contact, keeps sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. But the raging hormones and eagerness make him simultaneously still very much unhesitant to participate and discuss, even if he's burning on the inside with embarrassment the whole time.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Of course he cares tremendously. Forcing someone into doing intimate acts against their will is one of the most horrific crimes he can conceive of, and he despises people who would do something like that. Rapists, in his mind, are all strangers, a certain class of bad people who exist solely in certain unsavory spaces and groups.

But people who are in relationships are supposed to be intimate with each other and all. It's natural and healthy. Relationships are said to suffer if there's a sudden drought in that department.

See, Kaveh has a sort of slow descent. A lot of his approach depends on whether or not you've had sex or any sort of intimacy before. Before you've ever done so, he's very respectful of your wishes, would never push anything onto you, would never pressure you, is willing to maintain a perfectly squeaky-clean relationship where you never touch below the neck, will stiffen and turn around and cover his eyes automatically if you start to change or have a wardrobe malfunction that reveals something, won't even talk about such things if you don't bring it up first. Much to your amusement, he even asked to kiss you the first time he did so. The sort of "pure" relationship that you've seen particularly religiously pious or socially traditional people promote.

Things change a bit with time, though. Still, he'd never ever ever force anything, of course, but, you know. There's a lot of space between forcing something and being totally okay with not having it ever.

Once you've gotten somewhat hot and heavy, late at night alone in your place, mouths latched onto each other, but you pull away because you don't want to move too fast or whatever your reason is, he accepts that, really. He just looks very visibly disappointed, might mope a bit... but no, really, it's fine. You can tell how badly he wants it, and he seems to think every night is going to be The Night based on how quickly he seems to perk up and eagerly latch onto you if you embrace him or kiss him or anything of the sort. But no pressure. It's fine, really.

The pressure of the blatant disappointment is not so bad, really, it can be more amusing than anything, but it gets significantly worse after you actually do sleep with him for the first time, because he gets hooked like some sort of drug. And consequently, without even realizing it himself, he gets much pushier. In a more rational mind, he'd probably at least try to stop himself in his worst moments, but one's self-awareness and inhibition are severely compromised when you have a flood of hormones pumping through your veins, and the object the brain associates with that burst of a chemical high right in front of you, complete with visual stimuli. He's still not forceful, of course, just... encouraging. Touchy. Can't get behind closed doors for more than a few moments without pulling you close and holding onto you while you two lay on a couch or bed or whatever at the end of the day, just like you always have, just much more sensual with the places being grabbed and the not-so-subtle tugging on your clothes. If you actually want it, it's rather cute, always strikes you with the imagery of an eager puppy wagging its tail or the like.

But you don't have to, and if you aren't feeling it or something, that's fine... he'll be really sad, but that's fine. Maybe you'll feel like it again in an hour or so. He'll be sure to check. But if not, that's fine... he's just going to be even more sad. And quiet. And mopey. Blatantly so, such a contrast to his usual self you can't not notice it. It makes you feel a bit guilty, makes the atmosphere a bit awkward. But hey, if you give in and give him what he wants, he immediately perks right back up.

It's really not a conscious behavior, not something he's ever really stopped to think about, it's just something he sort of does without ever really thinking about it or how manipulative it is. If you ever point it out to him, he'd feel awful about it and try to stop himself from subconsciously engaging in that behavior... which will last about a week or so.

What is intimacy with them like? What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Poor baby is a total virgin. He won't admit to it unprompted, but it's kind of obvious, and he'll be (albeit sheepishly) honest if you asked. He's incredibly nervous, but also very eager, hands that tremble yet rush to pull everything off of you and run over your bare skin with intense fixation. He pays a lot of attention to you and your reactions, at least in the beginning, and is very afraid of accidentally hurting you or something.

Oral fixation

Kaveh is a very simple boy, he gets off to knowing he's getting you off. He likes making you feel good. He quickly discovers that he really likes having his head between your legs. Loves the way you squirm and moan and fuck it feels so good when you lace your fingers in his hair and pull, when you clamp your thighs down on either side of his head. It gives him such a rush, a sense of pride and excitement at the same time. He can spend literal hours like that, and likes to just do it at random. Expect to be often pushed against the wall when you're home, any of your whining about how you were cleaning or working on something soon replaced by noises of pleasure you can't restrain when he drops down and buries his tongue inside you. He keeps insisting that you sit on his face -- yes he can breathe, don't worry, and even if he can't, he'll be pretty content if that's how he goes anyway, doing what he loves.

It goes both ways, though, not just on the receiving end. If you go to reciprocate, he'll be in total, sheer bliss. He starts off trying to be cautious and worries about your comfort, but quickly gets lost in the feeling, grabbing you by your skull and pulling your head down, jerking your face up and down like a toy until he cums down your throat. Of course, after he does, he'll be apologizing for it over and over, but if you reassure him it's fine, he might just lose inhibition and control like that more readily in the future.

Praise

This probably doesn't even qualify as a kink for him, it's more like a need. He desperately needs you to tell him that he's doing a good job. Moans and other such noises are very nice on their own, but specific verbal praise is very much appreciated. Tell him it feels good, that he's good, that you love him, that you love his cock inside you, that you need him and want him and will never ever leave him. He eats up any positive words you say, depends on them even. It's partially an emotional thing of course, but it also makes him cum that much faster, each word of praise about how good it feels like an electric shock of pleasure.

Oh, and if the phrase "good boy" leaves your mouth, his soul might actually leave his body and ascend right then and there.

Marking

He discovers this because he has a tendency to get rougher than he realizes in the heat of the moment. He'll get more intense halfway in, start thrusting harder and gripping more firmly, nails digging in and even, without consciously intending to, sinking his teeth into your shoulder. Only after it's over does he start sputtering all wide-eyed because he sees the marks his actions have left across your skin, stammering out an apology and asking if you're hurt or need something and why is hot, why does it make him feel weird. What is this? This weird feeling, he feels so bad about having done it, and yet, it's... kind of nice...

If you don't mind it, maybe just maybe he can do it again... the thought of which makes him nearly hard again already. He finds himself tracing a finger over the indents of his teeth in your flesh, over the hickeys and scratches... he still feels guilty, but provided you don't seem upset, he finds himself sort of attracted to it. It feels nice, in a way, like it's marking something as his own, makes him feel a sort of prideful swelling feeling that also very much correlates to making his cock twitch. Like he's writing his name on you with each mark. Or, hey, maybe he could quite literally do that instead...

He grows a fast affinity for any sort of marking on you, be it scratches, bites, hickeys, actual writing, or even just cumshots on your face and back. It's rather cute how he still feels guilty about it, mumbles out an apology for it, but it's very evident that he's enjoying it nonetheless.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them? What are they like as a parent?

He'd prefer to be financially stable first, of course, but yes actually, very strongly so. He really likes the thought of eventually having a family, likes to picture it in his head. Just you, him, a bunch of kids, maybe you guys could get a dog or a cat or something, in a nice but modest house, living a peaceful, happy, simplistic life... it's a nice thought. He knows it's a bit embarrassing to be dreaming of stuff like that with someone he doesn't know that well, so he tries to refrain, but the thoughts seep in nonetheless.

It wouldn't be something that would practically, actually happen, though, until later stages, if you've finally accepted him, most likely via an "accident" wherein he forgot (or rather, tells himself he forgot) to wear protection, and one thing leads to another. Granted, he probably won't actually make it to the point of financial stability before it does, but... hey, having love and hope is what matters, right? Sure, maybe it'll be a struggle, but you'll manage... probably.

On the bright side, he's actually a very good father, one of the best you could have. Very caring and loving, and highly involved in every aspect of the kid's life. He's always trying to take care of tasks for you to "give you a break," wants the full Parent Experience™ -- which is rather endearing, seeing as you know a lot of men tend to push the boring or annoying or tedious tasks off on the mother, but Kaveh gladly helps you with a smile on his face and enthusiasm in every second.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

It would be a stretch to call it that, largely because he doesn't really intend it that way. But if you happen to trigger his anxieties when he's already in one of his worst moments, where he becomes more forceful and irrational out of paranoia or panic, the solution his mind comes up with for the issue of your discontentment is to make you feel good. Orgasms trigger a critical part of a bonding process (he remembers learning that in some mandatory class years ago), and you can't have room for too many bad thoughts when your mind is completely consumed by pleasure.

As always, he's not going to force you, of course not, he's just a little more pushy than usual, talks fast enough you can't get a word in, hands on your shoulders with a firm grip and an even firmer push as you get quickly guided into the bed (not forced! If you really didn't want it, you could always shove back), pushed down onto your back. A hand held over your mouth, should you try to talk, not because he's trying to prevent you from getting a word in, but because you're going to get yourself more worked up and distressed if he lets you talk. Just... just calm down, okay? Just let me handle it...

You have the opportunity to say no, despite the crushing grip and frantic voice and the ominous intensity of his stare. Looming over you, light from the hallway casting a shadow over his face that makes you feel uneasy. But you know he wouldn't hurt you, he's sure of that, so if you really wanted something else, you'd just tell him. Your stillness and quietness and wide eyes are an unspoken form of permission in and of themselves. You're clearly in recognition of your own distress and need for him to help you, and he'll do his best to make you feel good, which will in turn make you feel better and relax. Rather, maybe just keep going until you eventually pass out. Get the negative emotions out of you so that you'll be back to normal in the morning... and if not, he can just keep going then, too.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

If you ask, he'll say something really sappy like your eyes or your smile. Which is true, but he also likes all the soft squishy parts. Thighs, chest, anything he can rest his head on after a really long day and blissfully relax on. It's probably the closest thing on earth to what heaven feels like, he thinks. There's something comforting about the soft warmth that just melts his anxieties and stress away. Sometimes, if he's been dealing with a particularly disagreeable or demanding client or been pushed around all day, he just comes home at the end of the day silently sulking, makes a beeline over towards you, flops down and stuffs his face into your chest without a word.

But going back to his affinity for your eyes, over the course of his career, he's become somewhat familiar with certain stones and metals often inlaid into more ornate or sacred works of architecture, and he will definitely at some point get you some form of necklace or bracelet or the like with some stone or metal in it that matches the color of your eyes. He just puts a lot of effort into trying to be classically romantic like that, which is cute at least.

[jamethinks]

One thing I find very ironic about Spyxfamily is the way the Desmonds are portrayed. I understand that according to the narrative, they (namely Donovan) are the antagonists of the story, but I do find it quite tepid that so many character analysis is bonded by this very dichotomy style approach to understanding the characters (if that makes any sense).

I'm having a hard time approaching my point so bare with me if it starts to get confusing or disjointed.

I always see people talking about how the Forgers (aka the fake family) are able to have a happy relationship and a genuine bond while the Desmonds (aka the real family) are distant and uncaring of one another. There's a lot of emphasis on the parallels between Damian and Anya and how the presence of their fathers impact their lives. Most of the discussion is centered around shaming Donovan for not being more involved in Damian's life but not a lot of people are acknowledging why.

The whole reason for the fake family as part of Twilight's mission is because Donovan is a closed off skeptic who avoids unnecessary social interaction. This mission is supposedly the easiest way to get to him. As the story goes on, we gain a better understanding of just how shut off Donovan is and how much he actually isolated himself, even from his own family.

But the thing is, his actions are justified. The mere existence of Operation Strix validates his fears and anxieties. The fact that Twilight a spy is trying to expoilt the relationship he has with his children in order to get closer to him is the very reason he avoids them so much. It's people like Twilight that make him such a skeptical person.

Again, people praise Twilight for being a good dad, except he isn't really a good dad. It's all a facade. He's so dedicated to his goal as a spy for the West that he's willing to fake an entire family just to find out what Donovan is planning. Everything Donovan hates and resents is embodied in Twilight.

In the end, Twilight is just as harmful to Anya as Donovan is to Damian. He grabbed a random child from an orphanage and is using her for his own personal gain with limited regard for her well-being. We are not even sure what he plans on doing with her when the mission is over. Anya is obviously able to manipulate the situation to her own advantage, but that's only because she's a telepath. Any other kid would just be playing along, assume they just got themselves a new family overnight. We do see him grow and deepen his bond with Anya, in some cases threatening the mission for her benefit, but that was never a guarantee.

In a very frustrating way, Twilight is also contributing to Damian's strained relationship with his father and family. While Donovan obviously doesn't know what Twilight is doing, he's still aware that there are people out there who might. So, he continues to be guarded and make unreasonable demands of his children. He makes Damian feel he has to earn his place in his father's life because people like Twilight push Donovan to limit the number of people that are allowed in his life. I'm not saying it's Twilight specifically who's at fault, but people like him who are very much trying to force their way into his circle.

And I'm not saying of this yo defend Donovan or put down Twilight but I would like for less black and white thinking when talking about a Manga that hinges itself on nuance and the complexity of post war society. I find it a bit tired to keep categorizing characters as good or bad because it really hinders any conversation about them.

Idk I just feel there's a lot of moral ambiguity in sxf that really is intended to make us question our own moral code so it's weird seeing people ignore the actual harm Twilight and Yor cause just to reinforce their own limited moral values.

I don't think this makes much sense honestly.

[kitthenameless]

Something that I think about a lot when I see arguments about the Emperor, especially in regards to what happened with Ansur, is---

No one offered Balduran/Emperor help. Not really. Ansur tried to cure him at first, but that didn't work, and that was where Ansur's help ended. Whether or not he was or is still Balduran is irrelevant here. He had his own mind away from the Elder Brain, he accepted that his life would be different now, and he still wanted to live. And I don't think he wanted to be evil or go around eating the brains of innocent people. He tells you that he ate criminals (if he's telling the truth), which is not ideal but was probably the best solution he was able to come up with. He wanted to find an ethical way to survive as a mindflayer.

I don't know DnD lore, but in the game, we learn that brains from already dead bodies are a viable option, since you can give one to the mindflayer in the mill. Karlach found a way to get brains from consenting people. Omeluum is trying to make a synthetic food source. There are ethical options and possibilities for freed mindflayers. But no one wanted to help the Emperor figure it out or make it work.

In real life, so often the reason people hurt others or turn to crime is because they just didn't have help or support. Which doesn't make every harmful action excusable. But I can't understand how people can think Ansur was justified in trying to kill him instead of helping him or even just giving him a chance. It hurts me to think how alone Balduran/Emperor must've been in the beginning. And I can't help but wonder if he'd have turned out differently if he'd had any support.

[blindmagdalena]

Related to the last ask about Gilded Cage, and reader finding out about Billy/what happened to Becca. How would you go about reader finding out Homelander is a rapist? Not just in that verse, but in any fic?

The only time I've seen this play out is a Homelight fic where Annie knows about what happened to Becca. But she sort of "forgives" Homie or rather choses to ignore it, because she also finds out that (in that particular story, not in canon, obviously) he was repeatedly sexually assaulted as a kid. So, she doesn't justify it, but sort of understands why he did it.

Besides that, I can't think of any story where Homie's s/o found out about what he did. Do you think it would be the end of the relationship? Would reader gaslight herself into thinking it wasn't really rape, as many women (sadly) do? I would love to hear your thoughts about it!

it's a tough topic and i don't begrudge people who choose not to address it. it's also honestly just kind of a difficult thing to work in unless homelander himself freely admits to it (won't happen) or someone like butcher tells them.

there's also a lot of dub/noncon fics where it's just. kind of a moot point. if the relationship evolves from that in the first place, they can't really "find out" that he's a rapist. they've got firsthand experience. and yeah, in that case there usually is a ton of gaslighting and rationalizing going on. this is kind of what's going on in Gilded Cage right now where feelings are developing despite the fact he's keeping her against her will, and she still doesn't know if he's done something like this (or worse) before. which... we know he has.

but i do have lots of fics where the reader has no idea the extent of his damage and what he's done, and they would be properly horrified. Guilty Pleasures is a good example of a fic where i believe this revelation would end the relationship for SURE. she would not be able to reconcile that.

honestly you could take any one of my lighter/consensual fics and follow them up with the events of The Breakup / You Let Me Complicate You, which could just as easily have been about finding out that he's a rapist. it turns into a situation where the reader wants out, and he's simply not going to let them go.

the level of consent in Say It is also extremely questionable. basically noncon early on. would the reader here be shocked to learn he's done this to someone else? no. and she's already pretty well given into his corruption by this point.

whereas the reader in Don't Fret Precious (I'm Here) is a total loon, and would very readily excuse his actions. might actually be jealous because she's just. my ultimate yandere homelander simp. but she's definitely an outlier lol

ultimately it depends on the type of story you want to tell, and what kind of person you're writing against him. it's up to the author if that particular s/o believes the information at all, or if they let themselves believe that it's a terrible lie, and that their hero would never do that. or... maybe it makes perfect, horrible sense to them, and they either can or can't live with that.

i do think it's an interesting (albeit brutal) topic and one i'm open to exploring in the future! i can see myself going down any number of these potential avenues, depending on the vibe/character personality i'm working with.

[ladyandherbooks]

So the beginning of season 7 is going to be very chaotic and emotional for everyone as they all converge on Katolis. Especially when Runaan arrives.

Runaan's arrival in Katolis is going to be a complicated one, the humans won't trust him as he killed their last king but the Sunfire elves that arrive with Amaya and Janai are going to have a completely different view of him.

Let's start with the humans first.

HUMANS:

As mentioned above the humans of Katolis and Duren ( I'm assuming that Aanya will also travel to Katolis to help out) will not see his arrival as a positive, he killed their last king and thanks to Viren, Duren believes that a Moonshadow assassin came to kill their queen. And in the aftermath of Sol Regem's attack tensions and emotions will be running high.

Back at the beginning of season 5 Opeli wanted to arrest Rayla for breaking into Viren's lab and for taking Runaan's bowblade. The only reason she wasn't imprisoned was because Callum voucher for her and used his position as a prince to free her.

So I imagine that the chance of someone at least attempting to arrest and imprison Runaan will be high and it's going to take multiple people to prevent that from happening (more on that later).

And then we have Ezran. Something I want people to remember is that he doesn't know about Rayla's parents and Rayla and Callum's quest to free them. So he's not only going to be dealing with the destruction in Katolis but also the fact that Runaan is alive and there and his brother and friend didn't tell him about their plan to bring him back. This complete lack of communication, while not done out of malice is going to affect his relationship with Callum and Rayla during season 7. He's going to be understandably angry at seeing Runaan again and will be upset at the other 2 for not telling him about their plans.

Meanwhile he's going have to deal with seeing Runaan alive, the elf who killed his dad, wandering around free while Ezran is now an orphan. He's going to hate him but he's also going to see how much he means to Rayla and that he's Rayla's father. It's going to stir up so many complicated emotions in him and it's going to really test him in regards to how he deals with Runaan. He's justified in being angry with and hating Runaan but he's also Rayla's dad and so any action he takes against Runaan will impact her too. And if Callum (or anyone else) tries to defend Runaan and tries to form a relationship with him I can see Ezran feeling very isolated and alone. The real test for Ezran will be if he can make the right decision, a decision of love, not strength or anger or the easy choice. A choice that Harrow was once faced with almost 3 years ago. And we saw what he chose and what that led to.

Which leads me to my next hope. I hope that Runaan's presence in Xadia will force Ezran, Callum etc to re-examine the events of the beginning of the show. Because while it's understandable that Ezran will feel anger towards Runaan he isn't solely responsible for Harrow's death, Zubeia, Viren and Harrow all share responsibility for Harrow's death. I'd like and hope to see Ezran re-examine and unpack his feelings towards Zubeia and Harrow and realise that he's not only still upset and angry about that night but that he's also angry at his friend Zubeia and his father Harrow for the choices that they made.

Because like Harrow he hasn't healed and truly moved on from that fateful night and he'll need to in order to truly heal and ensure that he doesn't repeat the same mistakes that Harrow made.

This doesn't mean that he'll forgive Runaan by the end of the season or even stop being angry with him but I do think it will be an important step forward for Ezran in helping him heal and grow and would pave the way for Ezran forgiving Runaan one day in the future. To stop the coldness in his heart from taking control and leading him from the path of love.

ELVES

The Sunfire elves turning up in Katolis to help them in their time of need is also going to complicate things when Runaan turns up.

We learnt in Bloodmoon Huntress that Runaan is a legend, for his skills as an assassin but mostly for his heart. And so, unlike the humans I think that the Sunfire elves will see Runaan's arrival as a positive, especially if they, like the Moonshadow elves, believed him to be dead for the last 2 years. To them he isn't a monster, he's a hero, a living legend that some may be in awe of.

They won't allow such a legendary figure be arrested, which brings me to Janai and Amaya.

There's every chance that Janai actually knows Runaan and if she does and if their friends then this will further complicate things as she's going to want to help out and defend Runaan while also keeping the peace with her new nephew Ezran. Not to mention that Amaya may also have very complicated feelings about Runaan but as both a new queen of the Sunfire elves and Ezran's aunt she will have to navigate this situation very carefully.

I imagine that Runaan (and potentially Rayla) will probably stay with the Sunfire elves while they stay in Katolis, although I'm not sure how long our key characters will stay there before they decide or are convinced to move.

[sunderwight]

I keep seeing people argue that Aziraphale is "intelligent" or "not a fool" and that this means he can't possibly have fallen for the Metatron's blatant manipulation tactics or still genuinely believe in Heaven's righteousness.

Setting aside the validity of various theories (most of which I at least find interesting, if not outright compelling!) I think there's an issue here, which is that intelligence doesn't protect you from cult-like thinking. Especially not when you've been more or less born and raised in the environment.

In fact, what intelligence tends to do to people who have been indoctrinated into cults (and a cult is exactly what GO Heaven operates like) is give you even more tools for justifying or thinking your way around the contradictions of the cults actions vs message.

We even see Aziraphale do this, several times!

In fact, at the end of S1 doing this is part of what helps save the day. When he points out that Heaven can't know that they aren't defying God's ineffable plan while trying to follow the Great Plan, he's not just talking them into standing down, he's giving them an out. Because the whole Armageddon thing has already gone to shit and cannot proceed without Adam's cooperation, what they're really dealing with at that point is getting Heaven and Hell to accept that without retaliating. Even when Satan shows up it's because he's pissed, not because doomsday is still on.

Aziraphale uses the cult's own logic to give Heaven (and Hell) a plausible reason to back down without completely losing face. They don't have to admit that they were wrong, they can just file everything under "ineffability". Aziraphale pulls this off so well in part because he's been doing this to himself for millennia.

When he doesn't understand or really approve of the Flood, he files it under "ineffability". God has a plan but it's too complex and beyond even angelic comprehension to understand, so there must be a good reason for the Flood, it's just that Aziraphale can't see it. When he sees Heaven being complicit in Job's suffering and the potential murder of his children, he reconciles it by deciding that what God really wants is for him and Bildad to secretly stop it. But he flounders on that later, because to some extent I think he knows that this reasoning is self-serving.

(Knowing it's self-serving doesn't refute it, though, it just means that he worries about that until he talks himself into a bunch of reasons why it's still probably true.)

In S1, when Crowley broaches the subject of the apocalypse, Aziraphale's initial response is to recite the propaganda. It's all going to go according to plan, and it will all be great! When that doesn't work (because of course it won't be great, he's going to end up losing his true home and the person he loves most if this all goes down no matter who wins), he lets Crowley help talk him into how he could thwart the plan without "really" betraying his concept of God.

Basically, if Aziraphale's values come into conflict with Heaven, he decides that God secretly agrees with him. It's very like people who find their values coming into conflict with the institution of their church or temple, and so decide that there's nothing wrong with their actual religion, it's all just normal human corruption (or in GO's case, angelic corruption) muddying the waters of an otherwise purely good thing.

Now in real life of course this gets to be a thorny issue, but keeping it simple there isn't really a total separation between a faith and its institutions. You can't claim that there's nothing in the religion that lends itself to bad takes, just like you also can't claim that any ideology or belief system is invulnerable to corruption. Likewise, even if every bad thing in GO were to turn out to be the fault of Heaven and Hell and not God, God would still be accountable for a lot of the situation because God still set the stage.

But what matters for Good Omens and Aziraphale and this post is that, Aziraphale has put considerable mental energy into justifying how God and Heaven can still be Good and Right even as both of them do things he finds intolerable. Whether it's "God secretly wants me to do what I think is right instead of what I'm being told" or "Heaven has earnestly misinterpreted the will of God due to not knowing as much as I do", he puts his intelligence to use in protecting himself from the kind of revelation that would uproot his worldview.

The only kind of knowledge that actually protects people from cults is the knowledge of how they operate, and awareness that you're dealing with a cult. Aziraphale has a terrible disadvantage on both fronts because even though he's spent years watching humanity get into hot water with this stuff, he does so with the firm perspective that things are different for angels. He can't necessarily apply what works for humans to himself, because he knows he's a different kind of being (and unlike with IRL cults, it's actually true in his case, though I think demons and angels are both less different from humans than they believe).

Though, interestingly, he's closer to a accepting the truth when it comes to the differences between angels and demons. In S1 he is fully confident that he could possess someone, because even though angels don't do that, demons can. Whether he admits it or not, Aziraphale really does believe that Crowley is not meaningfully different from himself in terms of personhood or ability. If he can make the leap to the idea that angels and demons are not exempt from human-oriented concepts of self-determination and free will and unfair treatment by authority, and reconcile it with his own intense distress at challenging a core belief, then the fact that he's quick on the uptake will really start to work in his favor.

[betryl]

Along with Camilla's and Bunny's, another pov I would love to see is Charles'. He had such a tragic development throughout the book, but we get to know very little about what he actually went through, and it makes it easy to put all the blame on him – of course, he was an abuser and that doesn't change, but it would still be so interesting to actually get his own opinion, without Henry, Camilla or Francis speaking on his behalf. Not to justify him, but just to see things the way he did and get yet another interpretation of the whole story.

We'd get to know what his and Camilla's relationship was actually like – and it would probably look even worse from his perspective. His encounters with Francis, too. He puts the blame on Charles taking advantage of him, even though they were probably both taking advantage of each other in some ways – but we never got to hear how Charles felt about the situation.

We'd get to see him slowly lose his mind to alcohol, and it would probably be even more subtle than how it felt from Richard's pov, making it even the more chilling. Him getting progressively more depressed, more irritable, more violent (and therefore, I believe, more guilty about his own behavior too), to the point of being basically drunk all the time, and feeling like a totally different person to how he was at the beginning.

And then we'd get to see him get more and more paranoid about Henry. I would have loved to see more of their dynamic, because while I've seen some people reducing it to a love triangle with Camilla (?), it wasn't just that, and Charles had quite a few valid reasons to hate him. Henry pulled Charles into the whole mess basically against his will – he was the only one who, more than once, tried convincing the others the murder was a bad idea, and no one listened to him and listened to Henry instead. He was depressed for Bunny's death. He got coerced by Henry to get involved with the police too, having to bear the weight of everyone possibly ending up in jail if he did something wrong.

He realized that all of this was mostly Henry's fault, but then the situation with Camilla came along, and Charles suddenly understood he had just become the next target Henry might have wanted to get rid of – and he even tried to. He had every right being scared of him, but the others barely even believed him. So the paranoia turned into genuine fear for his life, until he eventually snapped, and we know what happened next.

All of this was hidden behind Richard's pov, which definitely made it difficult to understand his actions or how he was feeling. As much as I don't like him as a person, he really grew on me and genuinely became one of my favorite characters. And seeing it all from his perspective would be terrifying.

[crescynnt]

Some thoughts about the hollow heads

Why are all of the hollow heads hostile when they first appear? Other than the obvious answer (Alan thought this was just going to be a short one-off animation and a stick figure fight scene would be cool), their names likely attribute to it.

When Victim first appeared, he acted like a victim. He was trapped in a box and was toyed with by Alan. He only fought back in retaliation (something that he's still doing to this day- man, talk about a long grudge).

The Chosen One is weird. His name implies that he's heroic, but the only thing you really see heroic about him is his powers (from the start). But AvA1-4 is seen mostly though Alan's perspective. The Chosen One is seen as the antagonist because that's how the story is presented. But from Chosen's perspective...

...Alan is this god-like being creating them just to toy with them. He may not know what happened with Victim, but his sense of heroism, being the Chosen of the sticks, tells him to fight against this monster.

The Dark Lord is the first stick to be passive when he is created, with his first shots being of him stretching. This is because his name, The Dark Lord, implies that he's evil... and therefore on Alan's side. He was named to be aligned with his creator, so he has no reason to antagonize Alan from the get-go.

At the end of AvA3, we see Dark and Chosen team up. It shows that while they have their names, that is their starting point. Like how a human is born as a blank slate, the sticks are born with their names as the only thing on their slates. They are allowed to choose what to do after they're born. Chosen, being, well, The Chosen One, went against his name to become a terrorist and Dark went against his code to befriend his enemy. But the inherit personalities their names give them still affect their actions.

It's a nature vs. nurture problem, where their nature is defined by their name. In the Showdown, you see that Dark is using his "nature" of being the Dark Lord to carry out his conquest. Unlike Chosen, who is intrinsically a "good guy" and saw the fault in his ways before he went too far, Dark just doesn't have that moral code. He could probably learn it, later on, like when he learned to trust Chosen, but Chosen just... expected him to understand. (Chosen, you gotta talk to your friend!!)

Victim also follows a similar development. After the events of AvA1, he's still maintained that "victim" mindset. Even though he's more powerful now (but only in the box) to the point where he can actually hurt Chosen, he's taken his status as a victim in the past to justify his hatred against Alan.

And The Second Coming, being the only stick figure that was drawn but not named by Alan, his name means that he's the next Chosen One. He was only hostile towards Alan once his friends were deleted, showing the not-so-complete transfer of power between the two. He's still a kid, through and through, and while Chosen is still alive, there's no reason for him to fully take on Chosen's role (not that he's much of a role model anyway). He's the backup force, the kid who can live his life with his friends, until he's needed as the Second Coming (i. e. when Chosen was defeated by the Virabots).